Citizen Khan 4×3
& Alia: What’s going on?
Mr. Khan: I’m entering Birmingham Pride.
Alia: What?? Birmingham Pride? Like Birmingham Pride Pride? Actual Pride?
& Mr. Khan: Well, they must have done it at least once or where did baby Mohammad come from?
& Shazia: That was one of your jobs. I can’t do everything, can I, budhoo?
Amjad: And I can’t do anything, can I, ladoo?
& Mr. Khan: Why don’t you try experimenting a bit?
Shazia: What?
Mr. Khan: You know, mix it up a little. Me and your mother do it all the time!
Shazia: What?!
Mr. Khan: Oh, yes! Last night, I washed and she dried!
& Mr. Khan: Sweetie! She might turn out like that famous Pakistani Muslim woman that Alia was telling me about. What was her name, beti?..
Alia: Kim Kardashian.
Mrs. Khan: She’s not Pakistani!!
Mr. Khan: Yes, she is! Alia said so. She’s brown and she’s married to a Khan.
Mrs. Khan: Kanye!
Mr. Khan: Khan, yeah!
& Mr. Khan: Sweetie, the only tang tang conversation between a man and his son-in-law is the one that I had with your father! And if he had his way, we’d have no children and I’d be carrying my down-belows in a jar of mango pickle!
& Mr. Khan: OK, fine. I’m coming out.
& Alia: Listen! I have done my nails and everything. You know, I’m a Muslim, hijab, flavour of the month, innit?
& Mr. Khan: I want to talk to you about... cricket! Yes, cricket. Now, cricket is a bit like a marriage. You get together and you form a partnership. And at first you’re... sneaking plenty of... quick ones. Maybe even twos. And then you get a new delivery that you weren’t expecting and suddenly you stop scoring and you get very frustrated. But then you get your timing back, you remember where all the gaps are, and before you know it, you’re spraying balls all over the place!
Amjad: Are you talking about tang-tang?
& Mr. Khan: Look, Amjad, if you could pull off the arrest of a dangerous, determined but rather dashing local desperado, do you think that would help you become a proper policeman?
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On the IMDb
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