Mystic Mo

Citizen Khan 4×5

& Mr. Khan: Morning everyone, and welcome to the Mr Khan Community Leader Cricket Stadium in Pakistan’s fourth largest city... Birmingham!

& Mr. Khan: Oh, my God. You knew? You knew it was going to be your daddy! Mohammad, you’re psychic! You’re Mystic Mo!

& Mrs. Khan: Shazia, you can’t move to Bradford! You love living here, don’t you? In your little house, next to your mummy! Your mummy who gave birth to you and raised you and slaved for 20 years to raise you, sacrificing every dream she had so you could be happy!
    Mr. Khan: Shazia, we don’t want you to move into a brand-new executive home in the Yorkshire Dales. You’d be far better off living in a cheap, rented house in Sparkhill, next to your parents.

& Shazia: We have to think about the future, don’t we, budhoo?
    Amjad: Yes.
    Mrs. Khan: And what do you think, beta?.. Of the future?..
    Amjad: Oh... Well, I think we might all travel around with jet packs... and have robots as our masters.

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& Nurse: I’ll go and get a doctor.
    Mr. Khan: Make it a Pakistani one!
    Shazia: Dad!
    Mr. Khan: OK, doesn’t have to be Pakistani. Just not Indian, huh? Or Polish, or Romanian, or Ethiopian, or...

& Nurse: What are you doing?
    Mr. Khan: I’m just getting a second opinion.
    Nurse: From who?
    Mr. Khan: My colleague. Dr G... Oogle.

& Mrs. Khan: How’s it going with Doctor Kareem?
    Alia: So I’m like, «SOMY, smiley face,» and he’s like «No way! CUIMD,» so I go, «NIICUF,» and he’s all, «FBM hashtag Freddy Krueger!»
    Mrs. Khan: ????
    Shazia: It means he likes her.

& Mr. Khan: After all, if Bradford won’t come to Mohammad, then Mohammad must go to Bradford.

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