Tweek x Craig

South Park 19×6

& Stan: What is this yaoi thing all about?.. And if it can happen to Tweek and Craig, could it happen to any of us?

& Craig: Why is this happening?! Everyone thinks I’m gay! What if my parents find out?! ... Why are the Asian girls drawing pictures of us being gay?
    P.C. Principal: What’s wrong with being gay? Nothing wrong with that.
    Craig: But we aren’t. I’m not.
    Tweek: I’m not either!
    P.C. Principal: That is completely irrelevant, okay? What matters, and the reason I brought you in here, is that you understand affirmative consent.
    Tweek: What’s that?!
    P.C. Principal: If there is a romantic relationship here, you have to make sure your partner is comfortable with any sexual exploration.

& P.C. Principal: Now, in a gay relationship, it gets a little trickier, but you still have to follow some guidelines, all right?
    Craig: But I’m not gay!
    P.C. Principal: I don’t care about that, bro!

& P.C. Principal: Tweek, if... and I’m only saying if... At some point, you wanted to touch Craig’s penis, you can’t just go grabbing for it, all right? You would need to say something like, «Craig, is it all right with you if I touch your penis?» Okay? Let’s try it out.

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& Randy: Wow. Our town has only had a Whole Foods for three weeks, And we already have our first gay kids. So cool.

& Stan: I just don’t understand how it’s decided.
    Randy: Ah, well, you see, it’s a combination of genetic, hormonal, and environmental influences.
    Stan: No, I mean, like, what makes the Asians decide who they’re gonna make gay?
    Randy: The Asians? The Asians decide who’s gonna be gay? Uh, uh, yeah. Yeah, they do. Uh, the Asians just, you know... They just pick who they pick, and, um, so it’s the way it’s always been.
    Stan: So, you’ve heard of yaoi?
    Randy: Yeah, of course. Yaoi, anal intercourse, Maui Zaui. I-I know all this stuff, Stan.

& Craig: Tweek, we have to put a stop to this.
    Tweek: There’s no stopping it! The whole world wants me to be something I’m not!
    Craig: Me, too, dude. But there’s something we can do.
    Tweek: What?!
    Craig: We have to come out and say we’re gay.
    Tweek: What?! Are you insane?!
    Craig: Tweek, Tweek. Because, if we’re gay, then we can break up. And if we break up, no more pictures. We just have to stage a fake breakup in front of the Asian girls.

& Randy: Look, Thomas, you need to understand that being gay isn’t a decision. You know, a lot of people think that Asians decide who’s gay and who’s not. But it isn’t all Asians. It’s just specifically the Japanese, okay? ...it goes back to World War II and atrocities that happened in China called The Rape of Don King.

& Kyle: No, dude. I looked it up. Yaoi is just an art style for girls by girls because they like fictionalizing two guys in a relationship.

& Thomas: Son, you need to listen to me. You can’t fight being gay. I used to think that being gay was a choice, but you don’t get to decide. Japan picks who they pick, and that’s that. I don’t understand this stuff. Heck, I didn’t even know Don King got raped, but I do know that if you try and resist it, you make yourself miserable your whole life. Everyone was so proud of you. I was just being selfish. I want to be proud of you, too. I like gay Craig. I love you. Here’s $100.

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+ quotes on the IMDb