A Real Live Wire

The Last Man on Earth 2×6

& Phil: Boom, still got it.

& Todd: Aw, come on, Melissa, how many times do I have to say I’m sorry?
Phil: Wait, you’re sorry? That’s funny, I thought your name was Todd. Boom, still got it.

& Phil Miller #2: Now you finally realize that Malibu is the worst place we could be.
Gail: Shut your ever-loving tongue!

& Carol: You know, Phil might be right. Malibu’s good for now, but what about when we start having kids?
Melissa: Well, let’s just not have kids, then.

& Carol: I think that’s a great idea, Phil. You know, it could gain some points with the group.
Phil: I’m not trying to gain points... That sounds gross. I’m trying to earn points. There’s a big difference.
Carol: Well, I can see the difference.

& Carol: It’s so nice to see the two of you fisting each other again.
Phil: .... Oh. Yeah, yeah.
Carol: You keep this up, pretty soon you’ll be fisting the whole community.
Phil: .... Hope to.

& Erica: My sister had kids, and it turned her nether regions into a real war zone. Her boobs were like coin purses.
    Carol: Well, who doesn’t love a good coin purse? Put it in your hand and feel all those coins?.. Just feel richer and richer the more you squeeze?..

& Phil: Now we wait for her to die of starvation. Sweet dreams, my lady. See you in hell.

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& Carol: Just curious. Would you have been masturbating to the idea of having a baby?

& Melissa: We all know Tandy’s a tool, but you can’t just punch up on someone’s face for that.
    Gail: Yeah, being a tool is annoying, but it’s not a crime.
    Phil: Okay, thank you for the support, guys. I, uh, disagree with the tool stuff, but, uh, you know, appreciate the... the sentiment.

& Phil Miller #2: On-off switch.

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