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Modern Family 6×16

& Claire: Oh, my God! Oh, my God, she married Andy! I knew she was still into him.
    Alex: She said he wasn’t her type, but I’m like, «He’s a man. He’s breathing.»

& Phil: I’ll kill that Andy. How could he be so irresponsible? I mean, he’s a good kid... But to run off with my baby girl after I fell for his «Aw, shucks» act! Which is probably not an act because he’s genuinely nice and he thinks «shucks» is the «S» word.

& Phil: Damn you, Andy Bailey!
    Claire: His last name is Bailey? Oh, my God, she’s gonna be Haley Bailey.

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& Luke: Haley pregnant and me in a mohawk— This year’s Christmas card is gonna rule.

& Haley: Wait a second. How did you get onto my Facebook page? I unfriended you.
    Alex: She’s Brody Kendall.
    Haley: Oh, my God, gross! I’ve been playing Candy Crush with my mother!

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+ quotes on the IMDb