Under Pressure

Modern Family 5×12

& Asher: Sorry. I don’t mean to be that guy. It’s just, um, we’re all in this together.
    Mitchell: Yeah, I drive a Prius, so...
    Asher: And that’s a nice little gesture. My car runs on reclaimed cooking oil. I have some literature, if you want it.
    Mitchell: That’s okay. Save the paper.
    Asher: I haven’t printed anything since 2004. I was gonna e-mail you.
    Mitchell: On your power-hungry computer?
    Asher: My entire house is solar-powered. I sell energy back to the grid and use that money to save polar bears.
    Mitchell: I’m an environmental lawyer! So, you know, I’m pretty green.
    Asher: Mm. So is your lawn... I went drought-tolerant — succulents, indigenous plants, rock garden.
    Lily: My other daddy says your yard looks like a litter box.
    Mitchell: She’s a cute kid.
    Asher: I remember when she was in disposable diapers!

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& Jay: Why do you look like that when I look like this?
    Manny: My friends say it’s because of your money.

& Dr. Clark: Why do you think you melted down?
    Alex: I’m stressed. It’s my junior year. Part of me feels like the limbic system in my brain’s a bit off. That’s a thing, right? I did some research.
    Dr. Clark: You know I charge the same even if you diagnose yourself?

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+ quotes on the IMDb