The Old Man & the Tree

Modern Family 5×10

& Phil: Oh, God!
    Claire: It’s a little early, isn’t it?
    Phil: Go back to sleep. I don’t need you awake for this.

& Phil: This body doesn’t just happen, ladies. If he didn’t make it, no machine in the bedroom. Except for this machine in the bedroom, ladies.
    Claire: Who are these ladies?

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& Jay: What the hell is that?
    Manny: A fiber-optic tree. It’s way better for the environment than a real one.
    Jay: Not if the environment is my living room.
    Manny: Look, I admit, it takes some getting used to, but so did Greek yogurt. Now I can’t even remember how the old stuff tastes.

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On the IMDb