Homicide

Silicon Valley 2×6

& Jared: This is critical, Richard. Maybe we should SWOT this decision.
    Dinesh: I don’t know what that is, but no.
    Jared: SWOT analysis.
    Dinesh: No.
    Jared: S-W-O-T?
    Dinesh: No?
    Jared: Holy cow.
    Gilfoyle: Did he really just say «holy cow»?

& Jared: I’ve had a board ready for just such an occasion. I’ve booby-trapped the house with corporate resources.

& Jared: SWOT is a way of evaluating a decision. And you just break it down into «strengths,» «weaknesses,» «opportunities,» and «threats.»
    Gilfoyle: You’re fucking joking.
    Jared: Not at all.

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& Aaron Anderson: To be honest, I could never stand the guy. I mean, just hearing his voice again is giving me PTSD.

& Aaron Anderson: It’s like he’s fucking allergic to letting other people talk. It’s like he’s always gotta say something. You know?
    Erlich: Hey, Richard. Homicide!

& Dinesh: What do we do here?
    Gilfoyle: This is a tough one.

& Gavin: Okay. Christina, how bad is this? Be honest. Is this Windows Vista bad?.. It’s not iPhone 4 bad, is it?.. Fuck. Don’t tell me this is Zune bad.
    Christina: I’m sorry, Gavin. It’s Apple Maps bad.

& Dinesh: Is that a still image? It’s not frozen, is it?
    Gilfoyle: No, it’s live. It’s just not moving very much because it’s a fucking egg.
    Jared: But think of the wonderful things going on inside that egg... The resolution in your imagination is infinite.

& Richard: Oh, hey, we’re up to 17 views.

& Gilfoyle: I’d file this one under «Weakness,» Jared.

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