& Jimmy: The truth is always the best.
Doug: What if the truth isn’t an option?
Jimmy: Well... There is one other thing.
& Doug: I am marrying a girl who, all my life, I never would have thought would have looked at me twice. And I am marrying her.
& Jimmy: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Bic Mitchum. I’m your new best man.
& Jimmy: Doug, in the future, if somebody asks you something that boxes you in, you boomerang it.
Doug: «Boomerang»?
Jimmy: You respond with either a compliment or a question. Compliments are for women. Questions are for men.
& Jimmy: Let’s get to work. You want to start off with the HW2’s. The how-where-whats. These are the three basic questions that everyone I encounter as Bic are going to ask. How did we meet? Where am I from? What do I do?
& Jimmy: If you could pick your favorite superhero, who would it be?
Doug: Is Pas-Man a superhero?
& Doug: I still can’t believe they actually bought all that.
Jimmy: People believe because they have no reason not to.
& Doug: This is so fucked up on so many levels.
& Edmundo: So, ese, why did you bring him here?
Jimmy: He’s taking this wedding thing way too seriously.
Edmundo: All right, look, vato, weddings are just overblown parties direct from women’s unreasonable fantasies and preconceived notions that originated in childhood. So, don’t sweat the morality of what you’re doing. Just make sure the bride and her mother are happy. We’re in this together, homie.
& Jimmy: All right, I want you to keep reminding yourself that weddings are for the women. You’re not supposed to enjoy yourself, Doug. If you were, there would be big-screen TVs, there would be gambling. There’s none of that there.
& Jimmy: Let’s go dance.
Doug: No, thanks.
Jimmy: Douglas, you can hide a fat ass in baggy pants, but you cannot hide a bad dancer. Come on, I’ll teach you some basics.
& Jimmy: Hey, Doug. I like you, man... I just want you to remember that this is a business relationship. It doesn’t mean that we’re going to be best friends. That’s not how this story ends. I’m just an employee with a job to do.
Doug: I get it. You’re not my best friend. You’re just my best man.
& Gretchen: Those are the strangest group of guys I’ve ever seen in my life...
& Gretchen: Don’t you think it’s a bit strange that you use Bic razors and Mitchum deodorant, and your best man’s name is Bic Mitchum?
Doug: Well, if your best friend was named Jemima Colgate, I bet you wouldn’t use Log Cabin syrup or Aquafresh toothpaste, would you? It’s called loyalty.
& Jimmy: We were this close, Doug... Yeah, well, maybe next time.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Doug: What if the truth isn’t an option?
Jimmy: Well... There is one other thing.
& Doug: I am marrying a girl who, all my life, I never would have thought would have looked at me twice. And I am marrying her.
& Jimmy: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Bic Mitchum. I’m your new best man.
& Jimmy: Doug, in the future, if somebody asks you something that boxes you in, you boomerang it.
Doug: «Boomerang»?
Jimmy: You respond with either a compliment or a question. Compliments are for women. Questions are for men.
& Jimmy: Let’s get to work. You want to start off with the HW2’s. The how-where-whats. These are the three basic questions that everyone I encounter as Bic are going to ask. How did we meet? Where am I from? What do I do?
& Jimmy: If you could pick your favorite superhero, who would it be?
Doug: Is Pas-Man a superhero?
& Doug: I still can’t believe they actually bought all that.
Jimmy: People believe because they have no reason not to.
& Doug: This is so fucked up on so many levels.
& Edmundo: So, ese, why did you bring him here?
Jimmy: He’s taking this wedding thing way too seriously.
Edmundo: All right, look, vato, weddings are just overblown parties direct from women’s unreasonable fantasies and preconceived notions that originated in childhood. So, don’t sweat the morality of what you’re doing. Just make sure the bride and her mother are happy. We’re in this together, homie.
& Jimmy: All right, I want you to keep reminding yourself that weddings are for the women. You’re not supposed to enjoy yourself, Doug. If you were, there would be big-screen TVs, there would be gambling. There’s none of that there.
& Jimmy: Let’s go dance.
Doug: No, thanks.
Jimmy: Douglas, you can hide a fat ass in baggy pants, but you cannot hide a bad dancer. Come on, I’ll teach you some basics.
& Jimmy: Hey, Doug. I like you, man... I just want you to remember that this is a business relationship. It doesn’t mean that we’re going to be best friends. That’s not how this story ends. I’m just an employee with a job to do.
Doug: I get it. You’re not my best friend. You’re just my best man.
& Gretchen: Those are the strangest group of guys I’ve ever seen in my life...
& Gretchen: Don’t you think it’s a bit strange that you use Bic razors and Mitchum deodorant, and your best man’s name is Bic Mitchum?
Doug: Well, if your best friend was named Jemima Colgate, I bet you wouldn’t use Log Cabin syrup or Aquafresh toothpaste, would you? It’s called loyalty.
& Jimmy: We were this close, Doug... Yeah, well, maybe next time.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
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