14 февр. 2015 г.

Kingsman: The Secret Service


& Big Goon: This whisky is amazing, you will shit.

& Harry Hart: Manners maketh man. Do you know what that means? Then let me teach you a lesson.

& Harry Hart: Are we going to stand around here all day or are we going to fight?

& Harry Hart: Did you see the film «Trading Places»?.. How about «Nikita»?.. «Pretty Woman»?
    Eggsy: No!
    Harry Hart: My point is, the lack of a silver spoon has set you on a certain path, but you needn’t stay on it. If you’re prepare to adapt and learn, you can transform.
    Eggsy: Oh, like in «My Fair Lady»?
    Harry Hart: I know you’re full of surprises. Yes, like «My Fair Lady.»

& Harry Hart: Best of luck with everything.

& Harry Hart: I’m offering you the opportunity to become a Kingsman.
    Eggsy: A tailor?
    Harry Hart: A Kingsman agent.
    Eggsy: Like a spy?
    Harry Hart: Of sorts. Interested?

& Harry Hart: The point is, Eggsy, nobody thanked me for any of them. Front page news, and all these occasions were celebrity nonsense. Because it is the nature of Kingsman that our acheivements remain secret. A gentleman’s name should appear in the newspaper only three times: When he’s born, when he marries and when he dies. And we are, first and foremost, gentlemen.

& Harry Hart: Being a gentleman has nothing to do with the circumstances of one’s birth. Being a gentleman is something one learns.
    Eggsy: Yeah, but how?
    Harry Hart: Alright, first lesson, you should have asked me before you took a seat. Second lesson, how to make a proper martini.

& Eggsy: So you gonna teach me how to talk proper like in ’My Fair Lady’?
    Harry Hart: That’d be absurd. Being a gentleman has nothing to do with one’s accent. Its about being at ease in one’s own skin. As Hemingway said:"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man. True nobility is being superior to your former self. "

& Arthur: What’s his name?
    Eggsy: JB.
    Arthur: As in James Bond?
    Eggsy: No.
    Arthur: Jason Bourne?
    Eggsy: Jack Bauer.
    Arthur: Oh.

& Harry Hart: Now, the first thing every gentleman needs is a good suit. By which I mean a bespoke suit. Never off the peg. And Kingsman suits are always bulletproof. So let’s get you measured.

& Eggsy: You shot a dog just to get a fucking job?
    Harry Hart: Yes, I did. Mr Pickle here reminds me of that every time I take a shit.
    Eggsy: You shot your dog and now its stuffed? You fucking freak.
    Harry Hart: No. I shot my dog and then I brought him home and continued to care for him for the next eleven years until he died of pancreatitis.
    Eggsy: What?!

& Merlin: You know what I love about pen and paper? Nobody can hack into this shit.

& Harry Hart: I am a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend... who works in a military abortion clinic. Hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon madam.

& Valentine: It’s not that kind of a movie.

& Waiter: What will be your drink, sir.
    Eggsy: Martini. Gin, not vodka, obviously. Stirred for 10 seconds while staring at an unopened bottle of vermouth.
    Waiter: Very well, sir.

& Eggsy: Sorry, love. Gotta save the world.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Σ Hilarious.


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