Open House of Horrors

Modern Family 4×5

& Claire: I was plenty scary. I used professional-grade makeup.
    Phil: That’s the point, Claire. It was overkill. You’re the kind of person who can be twice as scary without wearing any makeup.

& Gloria: I am not a hothead! I am Colombian. We get excited. My country is covered in coffee.
    Jay: Just like the Starbucks girl when she got your order wrong?
    Gloria: Half-caf, non-fat wet soy latte. How hard is that to hear?!

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& Jay: Gloria, does my skin look looser to you?
    Gloria: What?
    Jay: Maybe I should try some of that fancy neck cream of yours. Don’t you have some with specks of diamonds in it or something?

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