& Dave: Aaron, you are the Samwise Gamgee to my Frodo Baggins. You are the Gandalf to my Bilbo Baggins. But of all the Lord of the Rings references that I could make, this is the most important: I’m Gollum... and you’re my precious.
& Sook: Security concerns dictate that the matter be discussed in person.
Aaron: Uh, okay, great. Where... where do you do that?
Sook: We will meet at latitude 40.1326, longitude 123.9889.
Aaron: Just ’cause I’m not, like, totally familiar with my longitudes and latitudes, where is that again?
Sook: 50 kilometers west of Dandong, northeastern China.
Aaron: Did you just say «China»? And did you just say «dong»?
& Aaron: She said we couldn’t ask any of our own questions. They were gonna write all the questions. We can’t do it. We’re essentially letting him interview himself with your mouth.
& Dave: Hate us ’cause they ain’t us.
& Dave: Haters gonna hate. And ain’t-ers gonna ain’t.
Aaron: That is not an actual thing people say.
Dave: This is what you do to haters.
& Aaron: What kind of porn are you watching?
& Aaron: Can we please move on? We have a dictator to kill.
& Dave: Is that real?
President Kim: It was a gift to my grandfather from Stalin.
Dave: In my country, it’s pronounced «Stallone.»
& President Kim: You know, Dave, sometimes I feel like a plastic bag.
Dave: Drifting through the wind?
President Kim: Wanting to start again.
& Dave: I’ve been thinking a little bit about the mission... America, you know, always puttin’ its nose in things and screwin’ ’em up.
Aaron: The truth is, Kim is a master at manipulating the media.
Dave: Yeah.
Aaron: You’re the media. You get what’s happening here? Maybe the media’s manipulating you.
Dave: «Maybe the media’s manip...»? What the fuck does that even mean?!
& Dave: God, look how ready you are to betray me. This whole time I thought you were Samwise to my Frodo. But you’re just Boromir.
Aaron: I don’t know who the fuck that is.
Dave: «I don’t know who Boromir is.» That’s such a Boromir thing to say.
& Dave: Don’t shake that hand!
President Kim: Why not?
Aaron: Yeah, why not?!
Dave: Because..... Aaron’s a Jew.
President Kim: Oh, gross.
& Dave: Let’s go, Supreme Leader.
President Kim: Okay. It was nice meeting you.
Dave: Don’t you know Jews are bad luck?
& Sook: I am a terrible person.
Aaron: No, you’re not. You’re the best person. You were about to have sex with me. That’s like the best thing someone could do.
& Sook: No, no, no killing.
Dave: Kim must die.
Sook: That’s the American way. How many times can the U.S. make the same mistake?
Aaron: As many times as it takes.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
& Sook: Security concerns dictate that the matter be discussed in person.
Aaron: Uh, okay, great. Where... where do you do that?
Sook: We will meet at latitude 40.1326, longitude 123.9889.
Aaron: Just ’cause I’m not, like, totally familiar with my longitudes and latitudes, where is that again?
Sook: 50 kilometers west of Dandong, northeastern China.
Aaron: Did you just say «China»? And did you just say «dong»?
& Aaron: She said we couldn’t ask any of our own questions. They were gonna write all the questions. We can’t do it. We’re essentially letting him interview himself with your mouth.
& Dave: Hate us ’cause they ain’t us.
& Dave: Haters gonna hate. And ain’t-ers gonna ain’t.
Aaron: That is not an actual thing people say.
Dave: This is what you do to haters.
& Aaron: What kind of porn are you watching?
& Aaron: Can we please move on? We have a dictator to kill.
& Dave: Is that real?
President Kim: It was a gift to my grandfather from Stalin.
Dave: In my country, it’s pronounced «Stallone.»
& President Kim: You know, Dave, sometimes I feel like a plastic bag.
Dave: Drifting through the wind?
President Kim: Wanting to start again.
& Dave: I’ve been thinking a little bit about the mission... America, you know, always puttin’ its nose in things and screwin’ ’em up.
Aaron: The truth is, Kim is a master at manipulating the media.
Dave: Yeah.
Aaron: You’re the media. You get what’s happening here? Maybe the media’s manipulating you.
Dave: «Maybe the media’s manip...»? What the fuck does that even mean?!
& Dave: God, look how ready you are to betray me. This whole time I thought you were Samwise to my Frodo. But you’re just Boromir.
Aaron: I don’t know who the fuck that is.
Dave: «I don’t know who Boromir is.» That’s such a Boromir thing to say.
& Dave: Don’t shake that hand!
President Kim: Why not?
Aaron: Yeah, why not?!
Dave: Because..... Aaron’s a Jew.
President Kim: Oh, gross.
& Dave: Let’s go, Supreme Leader.
President Kim: Okay. It was nice meeting you.
Dave: Don’t you know Jews are bad luck?
& Sook: I am a terrible person.
Aaron: No, you’re not. You’re the best person. You were about to have sex with me. That’s like the best thing someone could do.
& Sook: No, no, no killing.
Dave: Kim must die.
Sook: That’s the American way. How many times can the U.S. make the same mistake?
Aaron: As many times as it takes.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
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