Let's Be Cops

& Justin: Yep, they think we’re real.
    Ryan: So, let’s be cops.

& Ryan: Even the cops think we’re cops, Justin!

& Ryan: Would you shut up and let me do my job here?
    Justin: Wait, wait, wait. What’s the plan?
    Ryan: The plan is we control the situation. That’s what the YouTube video said.
YouTube?!

& Justin: I still taste that guy’s sweat in my mouth.
    Ryan: Congratulations. That is the taste of victory, man. It’s your first collar, dude.

& Justin: Dude, that was way too close.
    Ryan: Seriously. What’s the worst that could happen?
    Justin: «Simply wearing a police badge is punishable by 1 year minimum in a federal...» What the fuck?

& Justin: «... Driving a vehicle with red or blue lights is punishable... by up to 3 years imprisonment and $200,000 fine.» What about a whole damn police car?

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& Ryan: God, I’m getting good at this detective stuff.
    Justin: Is that why you’re wearing that suit?
    Ryan: Oh, yeah, I got promoted.
    Justin: You promoted yourself again?
    Ryan: Yeah. I’m a detective.

& Ryan: Now what’s in those crates?
    Justin: I’m seeing it the same time you’re seeing it. How would I know that?
    Ryan: I need to narrate it, because that’s what you do in these situations. You see something and one of the guys says it out loud. And the other guy, you, is supposed to go, «Yeah.»

& Justin: Dude, I think I’m addicted to crystal meth.
    Ryan: You just smoked it once.
    Justin: Oh, my God. I would suck dick for this high.
    Ryan: You’ve got to be kidding.
    Justin: I wouldn’t, but what if I do? I don’t want to suck dick. Because I know I’m gonna get good at it.

& Josie: If you’re not a cop, who the hell are you?
    Justin: No one you want to know.

& Ryan: Being in the shit isn’t the shit.
    Justin: No, it’s not the shit.

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