Modern Family 3×10
Phil: He can say that beause he’s gay.
Claire: He meant Lily.
Phil: So did... I.
& Phil: Have you ever heard of express Christmas? No. No, you haven’t, because I just invented it. Express Christmas, TM. It’s when you can’t have it on Christmas day—
Jay: Yeah, we got it.
& Cameron: Jay, you are gonna love this wrapping— it’ll be fun.
& Jay: Why are you wearing a sweater when it’s ninety-five degrees out?
Cameron: It’s my Christmas sweater.
Jay: Based on those stains, you are the Christmas sweater.
& Haley: Oh, this place is huge! Oh, plus we have to cook dinner! This is impossible.
Claire: Listen to me. Your whole life has led to this moment. All the training, the hours of dedication. There’s not a soul alive who can touch you when it comes to shopping. And baby, you know it. Look at me. Be you.
Haley: Give me that list.
Claire: Never been more proud in my life.
& Mitchell: Why don’t we ever go shopping together?
Alex: Because I hate shopping.
Mitchell: I do too!
& Cameron: Well, that’s interesting.
Jay: I doubt that it is, but what?
& Manny: First you lose me at the grocery store, then you leave me alone in a dark alley. Why don’t you just put a sign on me that says «Free Kid»?
& Gloria: Come here, my little ones.
Claire: No, it’s fine. We’re good.
Mitchell: It’s not a big deal.
Gloria: It’s Christmas. You need a mommy.
Mitchell: You’re not our mommy.
Gloria: And it’s not Christmas.
& Jay: Can I put in my two cents on fake Christmas?
Phil: Express Christmas.
Jay: Let it go, Phil. It’s not sticking.
Phil: It needs time.
& Jay: We all gave it our best shot to make this thing work. It just didn’t happen, all right? What do you say we cut our losses? Let’s go out to a nice Chinese restaurant... and have a traditional Jewish Christmas.
& Cameron: Jay, Jay, Jay. You want to hug me, don’t you?
Jay: I kinda do. Four to five seconds.
Cameron: Forty-five seconds?
Jay: Four to five seconds!
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+ quotes on the IMDb
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