The Prom Equivalency

The Big Bang Theory 8×8

& Sheldon: You think you’ve got problems. The gibbon is the only member of the ape family not classified as a great ape.
    Howard: How is this helpful?
    Sheldon: All the non-human apes are classified as great apes except one. That means taxonomists created the entire category of lesser ape just to single out the poor gibbon as the weird kid on the playground.

& Penny: That, believe it or not, is my prom dress.
    Bernadette: Wow, you still have it? I just assumed it was balled up in the corner of a barn somewhere.
    Penny: .... What kind of teenager did you think I was?
    Bernadette: Slutty.
    Amy: Easy.
    Penny: .... The word is «popular.»

& Amy: I was on clean-up crew.
    Penny: Aw, that’s sad.
    Amy: No, it was okay. The DJ let me dance one slow song with my mop before he shut down. Whenever I see a bucket of dirty water, I still hear «Lady in Red.»

& Howard: Bernie’s really excited. I-I could tell because her voice got so high, the beagle next door started howling.

& Penny: You knocked more than usual.
    Sheldon: Next time I might be in a rush, it’s good to have a few in the bank.

& Sheldon: I think I’ve come up with a perfect way for us to enjoy it.
    Penny: Great, how?
    Sheldon: We pretend we’re aliens... I’m not the best at reading facial cues, but I’m gonna say that you love it and want to hear more.

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& Sheldon: Now, in the beloved novel Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, an alien named Ford Prefect pretended to be human in order to blend in so that he could write an entry about Earth for The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, which is a travel book within the actual book, which is also called The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
    Penny: Okay, just one question... What?

& Penny: Here’s a question— as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
    Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?!
    Penny: Not always... Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.

& Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges. If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin.
    Penny: ?!?!?
    Sheldon: I’m not the best at reading facial cues,but I can see that you’re a little turned on.

& Leonard: Was that a flask?
    Sheldon: Yes. I’ve decided to embrace all of the traditions associated with prom, including spiking the punch.

& Leonard: I know that at this age your hormones are raging, but just because all your friends are having sex doesn’t mean you have to.
    Sheldon: Why would you say that?!
    Leonard: You know, ’cause... ’cause a lot of people lose their virginity on prom night.
    Sheldon: Penny implied the same thing. Is this true?
    Leonard: Just relax, it’s a joke... You don’t have hormones.

& Penny: Sheldon, doesn’t Amy look hot? That’s got to put some starch in the upper flermin.
    Amy: What’s that?
    Leonard: Oh, it’s a scaly genital organ that grows between his shoulder blades. Try not to touch it when you’re dancing.

& Howard: Do you like her because you both have red hair?
    Emily: Uh, a little, but more that she’s covered in scars and can pull her own limbs off and sew them back on.
    Bernadette: .... I like Cinderella.
    Emily: Did you know, in the original book, the sisters cut off their toes with knives in order to fit in the glass slipper?
    Bernadette: I like «Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo.»

& Stuart: So, I met Jeanie at your Aunt Gladys’. She passed me the Manischewitz, I took one look at this punim, and I almost plotzed on the kugel.
    Raj: Is this what I sound like when I talk about India?

& Leonard: Thank you for wearing your flats.
    Penny: Thank you for wearing your heels.

& Bernadette: Howie, get off of him!
    Howard: Not until he stops humping his way up my family tree!

& Amy: Sheldon, there’s something else I’ve been wanting to say, but before I do, I just... I want you to know that you don’t have to say it back. I know you’re not ready, and I don’t want you to say it just because social convention dictates...
    Sheldon: I love you, too.
Ω Bazinga!

& Sheldon: I have feelings for you that can’t be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite. But that seems even more farfetched. The only conclusion was love.

& Sheldon: I know what’s happening. This is a panic attack. SoccerMom09 says to lie down with your feet elevated.

& Sheldon: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Just because I love you doesn’t mean girls are allowed in my room.

& Raj: Say «Cheese»!.. Say «Cheese»!.. Say «Cousin»!

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On the IMDb