The Big Bang Theory 8×5
& Leonard: Penny is not the reason I didn’t pursue that idea.
Sheldon: Oh, really? Since meeting her, what have been your greatest accomplishments?
Raj: Easy. Sleeping with Penny.
Howard: Getting Penny to go back out with him after she dumped him.
Raj: Tricking Penny into getting engaged.
Howard: And a few weeks ago, he almost did a pull-up.
& Howard: You admit Amy’s a distraction?
Sheldon: Oh, very much so. Listen to this. This is from two days ago. «Hi. Hope you’re having a good day.» Who has time for this constant sexting?
& Howard: My cousin has a cabin out in the woods.
Sheldon: I’m not going to a cabin in the woods. Did you see the movie Cabin in the Woods?
Leonard: Then we’ll go to a hotel.
Sheldon: A hotel? Did you see The Shining?
Raj: We could go up to Big Bear and get a house on the lake.
Sheldon: Did you see The Lake House?
Raj: Nothing bad happens in The Lake House.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, no, not to them. To me! Time traveling mailbox... The only time that traveled was an hour and half of my life down the toilet.
& Leonard: You would go to a beach house?
Sheldon: Well, good Lord, no— have you seen Jaws?
& Sheldon: You know, a number of significant innovations have been inspired by science fiction. The-the geosynchronous satellite from Arthur C. Clarke. The Motorola flip phone— that came from Star Trek. Yeah, and I’ve long suspected that the idea of an African-American president was stolen from the movie Deep Impact.
& Raj: Hey, the future they show in Back to the Future II is only a year away. A lot of the things in that movie haven’t been invented yet.
Sheldon: How cool would that be if we could make one of those a reality?
& Penny: Well, we’re in Vegas. I want to go downstairs, get a bucket of margaritas, dance until I vomit all over a roulette wheel and watch it go everywhere.
Amy: What if we don’t want to vomit?
Penny: Oh, you will. That’s why they give you the bucket.
& Howard: Hold on. Pause. Something doesn’t make sense. Look... In 2015, Biff steals the sports almanac and takes the time machine back to 1955, to give it to his younger self. But as soon as he does that, he changes the future, so the 2015 he returns to would be a different 2015, not the 2015 that Marty and Doc were in.
Leonard: This is Hot Tub Time Machine all over again.
& Sheldon: Wait. Whoa, whoa. Is «placed» right?
Leonard: What do you mean?
Sheldon: Is «placed» the right tense for something that would have happened in the future of a past that was affected by something from the future?
Leonard: .... Had will have placed?..
Sheldon: That’s my boy.
& Sheldon: ...Yeah, but he had will haven’t placed it!
Howard: What?!
Sheldon: Unlike Hot Tub Time Machine, this couldn’t be more simple...
& Leonard: W-Wait. Is «brought» right?
Sheldon: .... Marty and Doc never had have had brought?
Leonard: I don’t know. You did it to me.
Sheldon: Oh, I’m going with it. Marty and Doc never had have had brought the time machine to 2015...
& Sheldon: ...Therefore, the timeline in which 1955 Biff gets the almanac is also the timeline in which 1955 Biff never gets the almanac. And not just «never gets.» Never have, never hasn’t, never had have hasn’t.
Raj: ........ He’s right... Also, what kind of name is Biff?
& Sheldon: Do you know that the word «wiener» comes from the German name of the Austrian capital Vienna, or «Wien»?
Raj: Do you know if you look at Austria on a map it actually looks like a wiener?
& Howard: Oh, I can’t argue with him. It’s right there on the screen. Austria does look like a wiener.
Raj: That’s nothing, dude. Go check out how hung Florida is.
& Penny: That sounds so great. But I have a little more studying to do.
Amy: Can you believe this nerd?
Bernadette: Come on, do you want to sit here being a loser, or do you want to watch me climb into an Australian man’s G-string like a baby kangaroo?
& Leonard: Okay, so we agree, whenever someone takes us off topic they get their arm hair yanked off.
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On the IMDb
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