What a Lovely Landing Strip

Two and a Half Men 9×11

& Jake: This is nice. Like old times...
    Alan: How so?
    Jake: You and me, sitting here, watching TV while the good-looking owner of the house is out on the deck swapping spit with a hot chick.
    Alan: Yeah, there is a bit of deja vu.
    Jake: Not only that. It feels like it’s happened before.
    Alan: .... Yes, it does.

& Jake: Man, I’ve seen so much crazy stuff in this house, I could write a book.
    Alan: That’s a good idea. Got a title?
    Jake: Hmm... Maybe I can’t write a book.

& Alan: Walden, you’re young, you’re rich, you’re handsome. If I was even one of those things I would have screwed myself to death years ago.

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& Zoey: It’s crazy!
    Walden: What about getting a diamond necklace for a girl you’ve haven’t slept with yet while flying to Mexico for dinner on your private jet is crazy?.. Okay, when I say it out loud it does sound a little crazy.

& Jake: So what’s he gonna do about Zoey?
    Alan: Well, unless I miss my guess, he’s gonna lie to both of them until it blows up in his face, and everyone gets their feelings hurt, and he’s left alone and miserable.
    Jake: Wow. That sucks. Isn’t there a better way to date two women at the same time?
    Alan: Aw, Jake... No.

& Jake: You have no shame, do you?
    Alan: Shame, no. Malibu beach house, yes.

& Rose: Do you want him back, or do you want him to suffer?
    Bridget: I don’t know.
    Rose: That’s all right. Oftentimes, they’re the same thing.

& Rose: Come with me, and I’ll teach you...

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+ quotes on the IMDb

Σ Oy gevalt. Rose's back!