One False Move, Zimbabwe!

Two and a Half Men 9×12

& Alan: So I’m thinking that since this is our first Christmas without Charlie, we should spend it together. ... Yes, Mom, I’d rather get laid, too... but I think family is more important.

& Alan: Uh, Mom, y-you’re breaking up. ... I-I’m sorry, what did you say? Y-Y-You want a tuna sandwich? ... Oh, oh, you’re in a two-man sandwich. Uh, well, I, I hope they’re using condiments.

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& Walden: I got a great new girlfriend.
    Alan: My girlfriend’s got a great new boyfriend.
    Walden: My mom is coming.
    Alan: So is mine. Wherever she is.
    Walden: Went to the Apple Store and bought myself a bunch of cool presents.
    Alan: I went to the grocery store and got myself an apple.
    Walden: Sounds like somebody’s got the holiday blues.

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On the IMDb