Derek 2×1

Derek 2×1

& Derek: All the pictures of you are with different ladies.
    Anthony: Ah, sure, that’s the point in travelling, boy.

& Derek: When I’m like this as well, when I’m happiest, I get sad sometimes cos I feel sorry for people who ain’t as happy as me. Lots of people ain’t lucky like me. I’m lucky. I’m really lucky. I’ve got... Yeah.

& Derek: I always tries my best as well. I learned it off animals. Animals always tries their best. Always trying their best. You never see like a lazy ant. It’s always working. It goes, “I’ll do that.”

& Annie: Now, when me and your grandad were trying for your mum... we used to come straight home from work, straight upstairs, no foreplay or anything like that, wham, bam, thank you, ma’am, do his bit, and then afterwards he’d help me stand on my head by holding my legs.
    Derek: Why?
    Annie: Well, it helps the sperm up the cervix.
    Derek: What’s a cervix?

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& Kev: Um... vagina. Uterus. Cervix. These are a few of my favourite things.
    Derek: What else?
    Kev: Clitoris, cum and flaps.

& Vicky: That can be your hashtag.
    Derek: What’s that?
    Vicky: It looks like that... and if you put that before “Derek says”, everyone can see it and follow it.
    Derek: Yeah, hashtag, “Derek says”.
    Vicky: Yeah, got that. So, what do you want to say?
    Derek: ... Be nice to animals.
    Vicky: Is that it, yeah?
    Derek: Yeah. Send. That’s out there.

& Derek: Joan used to say all you needs is someone to love, something to do and something to wish for. I’ve got loads of people I loves. I’ve got loads to do. I’m always busy, ain’t I? And I’ve got loads to wish for.

& Hannah: ’One. I wishes I could talk chimp and be friends with it. Two. I wishes Kev was healthy, cos he’s lovely and funny, and I’m scared of him getting ill from drinking or AIDS. Three. ......’

& Kev: When half your adult life has been dedicated to internet porn, you pick up a few things, and for once I do not mean genital warts.

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On the IMDb