Frodo's Headshots

Two and a Half Men 9×9

& Walden: How you feeling?
    Alan: Fine. Why are you whispering?
    Walden: Oh, I don’t want to startle you.
    Alan: Walden, I’m okay.
    Walden: Yeah, sure you are.

& Jake: Hey, Walden, guess what. I’m going to be a dad.
    Walden: Really? Wow. How you feel about that, Grandpa?

& Alan: Well, it’s, uh, not something I would have chosen for him at this stage of his life, but he will continue to have my love and support.
    Jake: If it’s a boy, we’re going to name him Frodo.
    Alan: You’re not making it easy for me, pal...
    Walden: You should have used a condom. Or you should have.

& Berta: Hey, look who’s back from the loony bin.
    Alan: It wasn’t a loony bin; it’s a stress clinic.
    Berta: Did they let you keep your belt?
    Alan: Uh, well...
    Berta: Loony bin.

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& Jake: Hey, Berta, I’m going to be a dad.
    Alan: What’s funny?
    Berta: From where you’re standing, nothing.

& Alan: It’s not a refund at all! I’m being audited... What’s so funny?
    Berta: From where you’re standing, nothing.

& Berta: How’d your audit go?
    Alan: It wasn’t so much an audit as a brutal prison rape with a number two pencil.
    Berta: I’m confused. Did you like it or not?

& Alan: What’s so funny?
    Berta: From where I’m standing, everything.

& Walden: I-I understand that you’re upset, but you have to see this from our viewpoint.
    Alan: What’s your viewpoint?
    Walden: The sex is awesome.
    Lyndsey: It really is.

& Alan: That’s it? She’s not pregnant?
    Jake: No, of course not. I’ve been stuck at third base for months.
    Alan: That’s a relief.
    Jake: For you, maybe. Anyway, I was just wondering if you had some advice on how to keep a woman from leaving you. ...... So how was the food in there?

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