Third Party Insourcing

Silicon Valley 1×6

& Doctor: Kidney function, liver function, testosterone... I don’t know how you did it, but you have essentially aged 40 years in the last seven weeks.
    Richard: Wow. Really?
    Doctor: We had a meth addict in here this morning who was biologically younger than you are, and he’s 58. MySpace guy. So what is going on?

& Elrich: Don’t touch anything. Failure is contagious.

& Kevin: Wait, are you Richard?
    Richard: Yes, I am.
    Kevin: Yeah, your algorithm is solid. It’s a really good schema.
    Richard: OK, thanks.
    Kevin: I did think you’d be younger. What are you, 25?
    Richard: Twenty-six.
    Kevin: Yikes.

& Elrich: I agree with Richard, you should come work for us.
    Richard: What... No...
    Elrich: What’s it gonna take, a blow-job? Because Richard will suck the dick right off of your pelvis.
    Kevin: Now you make me laugh, shaggy man. All right, I’m in. I’ll see you guys Friday.

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& Richard: You OK over there? You have any questions...?
    Kevin: Yeah, one question.
    Richard: Cool. Shoot.
    Kevin: Why do you keep your lips pressed so tight together when you’re not talking? ’Cause they’re like white. It looks uncomfortable.

& Richard: Wait, you just built all the indexes on the fly?
    Kevin: Yeah, of course.
    Richard: OK, well... Well, then what’s that?
    Kevin: The key value store... Tuples... S-p-e-a-k E-n-g-l-i-s-h?

& Prius: Destination override. New destination. One Gregory Drive. Arallon. Distance to destination: 4,126 miles. Enjoy your ride.
    Jared: Um, what’s happening? I’m sorry, what... Mr. Car?

& Elrich: You need to drag this little shit stain... Out from under this table and have him go through every single line of code with you to unfuck it while it’s still unfuckable.
    Dinesh: I should not have eaten all of that Satanist chicken.

& Dinesh: Tara.
    Tara: Hello.
    Dinesh: Hi. First of all... So, um... I have thought about it. A lot. To be honest, elements of this arrangement still trouble me. However, I have not had a lot of sexual experiences. So I feel it may be foolish to turn this down. So as long as Gilfoyle is not in the room and I can verify that the door is locked... then I have concluded that... yes... I would love to have sexual relations with you... Tara.
    Tara: Uh, what are you talking about?

& Richard: Where is Jared?

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