The Flavin' and the Mavin'

Two and a Half Men 6×4

& Charlie: It’s 7:00. Where are all these damn people going?
    Alan: I know, right? I deal with that every day. Very frustrating.

& Alan: Charlie, come on. It... it’s just for a couple of days.
    Charlie: That’s what Mom said when she brought you home from the hospital.

& Alan: Okay, I don’t mind the good-natured brotherly punching, but you did not have to twist my nipples.
    Charlie: You’re lucky I didn’t rip them off and feed them to you.

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& Berta: You’re letting Charlie hit that?
    Alan: Okay, look, first of all, that is a very ugly phrase. And second of all, I’m not letting him. I mean, short of drugging him and dumping him in the woods, what can I do?
    Berta: Yeah. He is like an Alabama bloodhound once he gets a whiff.
    Alan: Now it’s just a matter of waiting until it blows up in my face. And after it blows up in my face, it will then circle around and bite me in the ass. That’s me. No face, no ass.
    Berta: Well, that’s what you get when you mix work and personal... Which is why me and Charlie have always kept everything strictly professional.
    Alan: ???
    Berta: Yeah, yeah, I’ve often wondered about that. When I first started to work here, I laid down the law: looky, no touchy.

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