It's Always Nazi Week

Two and a Half Men 6×6

& Alan: Oh, just admit it: you love having him around.
    Charlie: I love having him around because I always know he’s leaving. Don’t take the leaving part away from me, Alan.

& Jake: They are fighting a lot.
    Alan: They’re fighting?
    Jake: Yep. 31.
    Alan: 31?!
    Jake: It’s what you get when you add 24 and seven. You know, they’re fighting all the time. 24/7. 31.
    Charlie: I’m not gonna make it three months, Alan.

& Herb: The thing is, talking with you and seeing how you live, I’m convinced I’m better off single.
    Charlie: Is that so?
    Herb: Oh, yeah. I mean, why chew on one chicken wing when you can eat from the whole bucket...
    Charlie: Just so there’s no confusion. Chicken wings are...?
    Herb: Women, Charlie. I was offering up a metaphor.
    Charlie: And you went with wings rather than breasts and thighs.
    Herb: Ooh, that is better!

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& Charlie: How’d you know I was here?
    Herb: Well, I tried calling, but your phone must be broken, so I went by your house and Jake said you went out. All I had to do was punch “liquor” into the ol’ in-dash navigation system, and three stops later, voila.

& Judith: How did this happen? How did I blow another marriage?
    Alan: Oh, sweetie, you can’t blame yourself. Although... you are the common denominator.

& Judith: Alan, I’m 40 years old. How am I ever gonna start over again?
    Alan: I know, I know. And soon you’re gonna be 41...

& Judith: Do you have any idea what it’s like to try and date when all the men your age are only interested in 25-year-old hard bodies?
    Alan: Well, you can’t blame us... Of course, you can’t compete hard body to hard body, but... you’re still a very desirable woman.


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