Wee* Small Hours
Season 3, Episode 9
& [It’s 4:00 AM] Don: Hello?
Hilton: Do you ever pray on a difficult problem?
Don: Connie?
Hilton: I had this revelation... New York city is not a domestic destination like say Dallas.
Don: I’m sorry. What?
Hilton: You know, God speaks to us. We have an impulse and we act on it.
Don: That’s very interesting.
Hilton: How do we know to do it, Don? How do we know to do something?
Don: ... Instinct?..
Hilton: So you’re just like a dog? I knew the patina of the Waldorf would shine over all my domestic properties, but it hasn’t worked abroad. I know I just gave you New York, but can you help me with that?
Don: You want me to take your international business, Connie?
Hilton: I want you to earn it.
Don: A little bit of “wow,” as a lady friend of mine used to say. Let me think on that.
Hilton: It sounds like pride*, but I want Hiltons all over the world. Like missions. I want a Hilton on the Moon. That’s where we’re headed.
Don: Okay.
Hilton: America is wherever we look, wherever we’re going to be.
Don: That’s very good, Connie.
Hilton: ... Write up a proposal for the New York Hiltons as convention spaces and send it over to me by noon. I’ll take it on the plane.
Don: Done.
& Don: I’m sorry about that.
Betty: It’s okay. “I want what I want when I want it,” and you don’t care what it does to the rest of us. Like someone else I know.
Don: The baby’s up every three hours. Hilton only calls every four.
Betty: I think you like it.
& Don: Did anybody look at a picture of the Athens Hilton?.. Sliding doors don’t read as windows. And believe it or not, we’re not allowed to pretend that that’s the view from the window of the Hilton, because it’s not.
Peggy: Other than that?
Don: The tag* is flat*.
Peggy: Well, that one’s yours.
Don: That doesn’t make it good. If it’s bad, don’t use it.
& Don: What else?
Smitty: Uh... There are 16 graphically perfect reduced photographs of Hilton hotels all on a grid, a simple headline.
Kurt: “You go. We’ll meet you anywhere.”
Don: Now that I can finally understand you, I am less impressed with what you have to say. ... Who is “we”?
Kurt: “We” are Hilton.
Don: And how do I know that? Take out a magnifying glass and look at one of those tiny hotels?
Kurt: I write “Hilton” very big under this Greek.
Don: There is no deadline. I want to see work as you think of it. Give me more ideas to reject. I can’t do this all by myself.
& Kinsey: What are you gonna do?
Crane: I’m not gonna panic and do something stupid like I usually do.
Kinsey: That’s a good start.
& Don: Hello?
Hilton: Don, it’s Conrad Hilton.
Don: Is it?
Hilton: Now don’t be like that. I know it’s a privilege to call you at home.
Don: I don’t think I’ve worn it out.
Hilton: It’s 11:30 [PM].
Don: It’s not a problem, Connie.
Hilton: Can you come have a drink with me?
Don: Right now?!
Hilton: You can say no. I’ve heard it before. And for all you know, you’re not the first person I asked.
Don: I’ll be there. Give me an hour.
& Hilton: I think you know I’m in a bit of a crisis tonight.
Don: I didn’t know that.
Hilton: I think about my business day and night and I’m a harsh critic, especially of myself. And sometimes it collects, and I feel bad. And then I realize... Maybe that’s the reason I’m so lonesome.
Don: You might be working too much.
Hilton: I’m not working enough. It’s my purpose in life to bring America to the world, whether they like it or not. You know, we are a force of good, Don, because we have God. The communists don’t. It’s their most important belief. Did you know that?
Don: I’m not an expert.
Hilton: Generosity*. The Marshall plan... You remember that. Everyone who saw our ways wanted to be us.
Don: I’m glad you’re telling me this.
Hilton: After all the things we threw at Khrushchev, you know what made him fall apart?.. He couldn’t get into Disneyland.
Don: That’s good.
Hilton: You never heard that?
Don: Well, I did, but when I hear you say it it sounds beautiful.
Hilton: I Don’t want any politics in my campaign. You know that. But there should be goodness* and... confidence. Thanks for listening to me, Don.
& Hilton: You know, sometimes I look around here, and I think “By golly*, I’m king Midas.”
Don: Stop it. You’re not.
Hilton: You’re my angel, you know that? You’re like a son. In fact, sometimes you’re more than a son to me, because you didn’t have what they had. And you understand.
& Don: Rome, Tehran, Tokyo are magnificent destinations. And that’s really been the focus of almost every campaign you’ve had up till now... How to lure the American traveler abroad? What more do we need than a picture of Athens to get our hearts racing? And yet the average American experiences a level of luxury that belongs only to kings in most of the world?.. We’re not chauvinists. We just have expectations. ... Well, now there’s one word that promises the thrill of international travel with the comfort of home: “Hilton.”
“How do you say ice water in Italian? ’Hilton.’”
“How do you say fresh towels in Farsi? ’Hilton.’”
“How do you say hamburger in Japanese? ’Hilton.’”
“Hilton.” It’s the same in every language.
Hilton: Maybe fried chicken... I don’t like the sound of “hamburger” and “Hilton.” Besides, “hamburger” is already a foreign word.
Don: We’ll see.
Hilton: It’s good. Very good. It’s clever, yet friendly. It draws you in... But what about the Moon?
Don: Excuse me?
Hilton: There’s nothing about the Moon.
Don: Well... right now, that’s not an actual destination.
Hilton: That wasn’t the point. I said I wanted Hilton on the Moon. I couldn’t have been more clear about it.
Don: Well... I... I’ll admit... I misunderstood that. I’m sure there’s a way to fit that into this.
Hilton: Well, isn’t this something?.. I’d like to speak with Don in private. ...
Don: This is a good campaign. One of the best. It’s modern, it’s witty, it’s eye-catching. It will change your business.
Hilton: Calm down. I’m going to speak very honestly with you. I don’t think folks do that often. Probably scared...
Don: ...or they trust my work.
Hilton: You want me to just say yes to everything you do?
Don: Most ad men believe that clients are the thing that gets in the way of good work. I’ve never experienced that.
Hilton: You did not give me what I wanted. I’m deeply disappointed, Don.
Don: This is a great campaign.
Hilton: Fine. What do you want from me? Love? Your work is good. But when I say I want the Moon, I expect the Moon.
& Allison: What can I do for you?
Don: I don’t know. I wanted to talk.
Allison: Right. Says the man as he unbuckles his pants...
-- Dict:
Wee — крошечный
pride — гордыня; спесь; заносчивость
tag — рефрен
flat — ровный; прямой; категорический; тупой; скучный; унылый; неостроумный
Generosity — щедрость; великодушие; благородство
goodness — доброта; добродетель; великодушие
By golly — Ей-богу
On Imdb
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