22 февр. 2011 г.

Love and Other Drugs (1/2)

& Josh: I already justified my laziness. It’s called $35 million on my first IPO.


& Josh: The profession was ruined when they let women in.


& Farrah: Jamie, what are you up to these days?
    Josh: Jamie’s selling high-end stereo equipment.


& Josh: Remember Timmy, my roommate from Brown? He’s a VP at Pfizer. So I said to Jamie, “Jamie, if you suck on my cock, I’ll get you an interview.”
    Mom: Oh, Josh, watch your mouth!
    Dad: Watch your mouth!
    Josh: I said no, Mom. I said no!


& Josh: Oh, Jamie, if you could make money fucking, you’d be even richer than me.


& — Your job will be to go share this technology.
    — Your job will be to go save lives.
    — The health care industry today is worth $2 trillion a year. The top 10 pharma companies make more money than all 490 of the other Fortune 500 companies combined.


& Bruce Winston: What are you thinking about?
    Jamie: Money.
    Bruce: Pay attention.


& Bruce: We are not going door-to-door selling oatmeal cookies for the Girl Scouts here. You are not the goddamn Avon lady. You understand what I’m saying? This is hardcore sales, and you have a quota. And people at the home office keeping track of that quota. And your cold calls, and your mileage, and your receipts. How often you goddamn masturbate.
    Jamie: What is the quota for masturbation?
    Bruce: You can masturbate as much as you like, smartass, as long as you make a lot of money.


& Jamie: Hey, Doctor, Jamie Randall. Pfizer. How are you doing?
    Dr. Goldstein: No, thank you.
    Jamie: Look... It’s wet out here. I don’t want you compromising your immune system. Let’s talk about Zithromax for a second.
    Dr. Goldstein: Which part of “No, thank you” do you not understand?
    Jamie: You wanna take a pen?
    Dr. Goldstein: No, thank you.


& Jamie: What’s your name?
    Dr. Goldstein: Goldstein.
    Jamie: Right. Dr. Goldstein, okay, what we’re doing...
    Dr. Goldstein: No, what you’re doing is creating classes of drug-resistant superbugs. And that might be good for business, because you will develop stronger antibiotics and ruin people’s immune systems altogether.


& Jamie: Hey, Lisa!
    Bruce: Her name’s not Lisa.
    Jamie: I know. I know. But if every time I say, “Hey, Lisa,” then eventually she’ll come up to me and she’ll be like, you know, “My name’s not Lisa, it’s Jennifer,” or whatever, and I’ll do a big apology and I’ll say, “I thought you were the Lisa who was mad at me for not calling.” And from then on, Jennifer, or whatever her name is, will think that I dated a girl who looked just like her, who I rejected. She’ll develop this unconscious need to win my approval, and from then on, it’s cake.
    Bruce: Damn!


& Bruce: If we can show 5% gains monthly, we’re going to the promised land.
    Jamie: The promised land?
    Bruce: Chicago. Civilization. Culture. And not incidentally, my wife and kids. Only the great and near-great get Chicago, but I got a hunch that you and your swinging dick might be my ticket to the big leagues.


& Jamie: Why did she kick you out?
    Josh: I don’t know, Jamie! Jesus! She said I was addicted to Internet porn.
    Jamie: Are you?
    Josh: Of course I am! Fuck! Isn’t everybody?


& Jamie: Look, I’m sorry that I stared at your tits, but they’re really nice.


& Maggie Murdock: What’s your game?
    Jamie: My game?
    Maggie: Oh I’m sorry. Right. This is the part where we talk about where we come from and what we majored in in college.
    Jamie: You have beautiful eyes.
    Maggie: That’s it? That’s the best you got?
    Jamie: I’m serious. They’re beautiful. {...}
    Maggie: Let’s go.
    Jamie: Excuse me?
    Maggie: You want to close right? You want to get laid?
    Jamie: Now?
    Maggie: Oh right, right, right. I’m supposed to act like I don’t know if it’s right. So then you tell me that there is no right or wrong. It’s just the moment. And then I tell you that I can’t while actually signalling to you that I can, which you don’t need because you’re not really listening. Because this isn’t about connection for you. This isn’t even about sex for you. This is about finding an hour or two of relief from the pain of being you. And that’s fine with me, see, because all I want is the exact same thing.


& Maggie: The thing is, I really like having sex, and I actually really like having sex with you, so let’s just keep it simple.
    Jamie: I can do that.
    Maggie: Yeah, you do seem like a shithead, so it should be all right. {...}
    Jamie: Oh, no, no. I’m a shithead, believe me.
    Maggie: Good. Because if you turn out not to be a shithead, that would be bad.
    Jamie: I’m a shithead, believe me. Through and through.


& Homeless: Are those more samples?
    Jamie: Yeah. Help yourself.


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