Glee 1x12

Mattress

Season 1, Episode 12

& Will: So, what’s with all the primping*?
    Emma: Yearbook pictures. This is the 50th edition of the McKinley High School Thunderclap.
    Ken: I’m gonna drop 20 pounds by Friday, look smokin’ hot for that photo...


& Emma: Sue? Did someone finally punch you?
    Sue: Every year when the photos for the Thunderclap come around I always elect to have a little work done. This year I got myself a bit of an eye lift. And while they were in there, I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn’t using ’em. You know, I got a storage unit full of trophies and medallions. But for the rest of you educators... these yearbook pictures are really the only concrete proof you have... that anything you’ve done in your sorry little lives has made any difference whatsoever.


& Kurt: Glee Club stands on a delicate precipice*. We have all felt the cold humiliation of a Slushee in the face. But as of right now, our relative anonymity as a club shields us from more severe persecution... swirlies*, patriotic wedgies*.
    Noah: What’s a patriotic wedgie?
    Artie: It’s when they hoist you up the flagpole by your undies. Strangely, it did make me feel more American.


& Rachel: I want us to start a “Gay Lesb All.”
    Kurt: I’m sorry?
    Rachel: The Gay Lesbian Alliance. “Gay Lesb All.”

---

& Emma: I’m marrying Ken, Will. Look, I know that I’ve... I’ve definitely given him reason in the past to be jealous. But I need you to know that I’m done with that now. Ken has a lot of flaws. He has 74 flaws as of yesterday. But you know what? He’s not vindictive*. He’s actually a very good man. He is kind, and he is great with the students here at McKinley. We have that in common. And yes, it’s true his hygiene could be a lot better. But he is absolutely full of compassion, and... Well, that is why I’m marrying him.


& Will: What is this?
    Terri: It’s a pregnancy pad! They have them at the maternity stores for trying on clothes... so you can see how you’re gonna look when you’re showing. Kendra stole it for me so I can see if any of her old clothes would fit...
    Will: Pick up your shirt.


& Sue: Am I asking for too much... Ohio Board of Statewide Holiday Planning? All I want is just one day a year... where I’m not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties. Seriously, Ohio, these retinas need a day off. So here’s the dream. Friday after Christmas, which I have off... if you’re hideous, stay at home. Spend the entire day watching home videos... of a time when you weren’t too repulsive for me to ever wanna look at. At that’s how Sue sees it.


& Quinn: Miss Sylvester...
    Sue: It’s like looking at a porno star in a nun’s habit.
    Quinn: I wanted to show you that it still fits. My baby bump isn’t that bad. It’s just like I had a big lunch.
    Sue: Take it off! You need to get it through your pregnant head... there’s no way you’re getting in that photo or back on the Cheerios... end of story.



--Dict:
primping — прихорашиваться; наряжаться
precipice — пропасть; обрыв; круча; опасное положение
swirlie = A form of torture/punishment in which the victim is held upside down over a toilet, with his head in the toilet bowl, while it is flushed.
wedgies = a punishment for tighty-whitey wearers; the most simple is yanking the underwear up from behind.
vindictive — мстительный


+ on Imdb.


__ Drrrrramatic episode.