The Big Bang Theory 4x14

The Thespian* Catalyst

Season 4, Episode 14

& Sheldon: Good evening. I’m your guest lecturer, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. ............ I was expecting applause, but I suppose stunned silence is equally appropriate.


& Raj: Ooh, somebody took pictures and uploaded them to their Flickr account.
    Leonard: Wow. How do you get an entire lecture hall to flip you off at the same time?
    Howard: Apparently, if you’re Sheldon, all you need to do is turn your back.



& Penny: Hey, Leonard, is your Wi-Fi down? I can’t get on.
    Leonard: Oh, Sheldon changed the password. It’s now “Penny is a freeloader.” ... No spaces.


& Howard: Sheldon still moping*?
    Leonard: Yeah, it’s weird. Even though he didn’t want to give the lecture in the first place, being rejected by those students really hit him hard.
    Raj: I know the feeling. It’s like accidentally walking into a gay bar and then having no one hit on you. .......... It... It happened to a friend of mine.


& Amy: Well, that was the last arrow in my quiver* of whimsy*.
    Sheldon: Do you realize that teaching is the first thing I’ve failed at since my ill-fated attempt to complete a chin-up* in March of 1989?


& Amy: There are things we could do about it.
    Sheldon: For instance?
    Amy: Well, the first thing that comes to mind is isolating the part of your brain where the memory is stored and destroying it with a laser.
    Sheldon: Hmm, no. One slip of the hand, and suddenly I’m sitting in the Engineering Department, building doodads* with Wolowitz.


& Amy: Perhaps you should consider taking acting lessons.
    Sheldon: Acting lessons... Interesting. It might help if I could act as though I care about my students and whether or not they learn.


& Sheldon: I need you to teach me.
    Penny: You want an acting lesson?
    Sheldon: Perhaps two. I’d like to master the craft.

---

& Penny: Does this mean you are done mocking my acting career?
    Sheldon: Oh, I’m sorry, I thought making the transition from actor to acting teacher was the signal that one’s career had reached the end of the road.


& Howard: Raj, I have amazing news! I just got offered a fellowship at the Weitzmann Institute in Israel.
    Raj: Dude, that’s incredible!
    Howard: I know. The only thing is, I’m gonna be gone for two years.
    Raj: Aw, I’m gonna miss you. Are you going with him?
    Bernadette: I have to stay here for school.
    Howard: That’s what we’re here to talk to you about. You see, Bernadette has needs.
    Raj: What kind of needs?
    Bernadette: Sexual needs. Most of them regular, but some of them kind of messed up.


& Penny: Come on, you got to work with me. We need to get connected with our bodies.
    Sheldon: Penny, my body and I have a relationship that works best when we maintain a cool, wary distance from each other.


& Howard: ... My last wish is that you look after Bernadette.
    Raj: Of course, of course. Now when you say “look after,” you mean...
    Bernadette: Sexually.
    Raj: Excuse me, Bernadette. I have to hear it from him.
    Howard: Sexually.
    Raj: Got it. Take care. I guess I have no choice but to make sweet, guilt-free love to you over and over again for the rest of my life.
    Bernadette: That’s how I heard it.


& Penny: Mrs. Cooper, hey, it’s Penny. ... Yeah, I think I broke your son. Hey, hold on. Talk to your mother.
    Sheldon: Mommy, I love you. Don’t let Spock take me to the future!

& Raj: Dance number aside, I’m so not gay.



--- Dict:
Thespian — драматический; трагический
moping — хандрить
quiver — колчан
whimsy — фантазия
chin-up — подтягивание до подбородка
doodad — штуковина
doodads — безделушки; декорация
messed up = Something that is strange or weird.


On Imdb.