Glee 1x16

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Season 1, Episode 16

& Sue: Ladies, what we have here is a grade-A dilemma. Mercedes, your vocal chords have had more fantastic runs than a Kenyan track team, but that look simply will not do. At first, I thought it was a subtle homage* to yours truly, but now I fear it’s some sort of ironic comment.
    Mercedes: Ms. Sylvester, I’m just not comfortable in those Cheerios! skirts. They don’t fit me right.
    Kurt: Mercedes, you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about your body.
    Mercedes: Embarrassed? No, no. I’m worried about showing too much skin and causing a sex riot.


& Finn: How are we supposed to practice for Regionals without the auditorium?
    Will: The Cheerios! need it to practice in. There’s nothing I can do.
    Rachel: I recommend a sit-in*.
    Noah: I recommend we torch* the place.


& Kurt: Mercedes... You have a week to lose ten pounds. That’s like having to lose one of my butt cheeks. {...} Look, Mercedes, now that we’re cheerleaders, we’re finally part of the in crowd. We have a place at the table. {...} Don’t screw it up.


& Brittany: I think my cat’s reading my diary.


& Mercedes: Hey, guys. Can I ask you something? How do you manage to stay so skinny?
    Santana: The Sue Sylvester Master Cleanse.
    Sue: Water, maple syrup for glucose, lemon for acid, cayenne pepper to irritate the bowels, and a dash of ipecac*, a vomiting agent. I haven’t had a solid meal since 1987.
    Brittany: Sometimes I add a teaspoon of sand.
    Mercedes: That can’t be healthy.
    Santana: Who cares? You can either feel terrible and look great, or get kicked off the team when that reporter gets here.

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& Finn’s Mom: Why are you so upset? It’s not your bed.
    Finn: Don’t you have any feelings about it? It’s your and dad’s honeymoon set. I was conceived in that bed.
    Finn’s Mom: You were conceived on a pinball machine.


& Will: April, I really thought you were serious about getting sober.
    April: No. Don’t look so disappointed, Will. I mean, who are we kidding really? I’m nothing but a washed-up dreamer. It’s all I’ll ever be.


& April: So you’re free to date? And by date, I mean sleep with people. And by sleep with people, I mean have sex with people. People like me. Kidding. Not really. But listen to this.
    You’re looking for a subletter. I’m looking for a place to stay. One catch. I’m full-time fancy now, Will. I’m gonna want to check the place out. I’m gonna wanna check the fungshwung, or the fing-fong, or whatever they call it.
    Tell you what. I’m gonna go get myself a bikini wax, and I’m gonna see you tomorrow.


& Becky: I lost two pounds, Coach.
    Sue: Well, Becky, you are assimilating beautifully. Instead of being different and an outcast, you’re just like every other teenage girl in America... sadly obsessed with vanity*. Hey, before you know it, you’ll be leaving little baggies of upchuck* in your parents’ linen closet. Congrats. I’m proud of you, kid.


& Sue: You have four days to lose the weight, get yourself in a uniform, or you’re out.
    Mercedes: What am I gonna do?
    Sue: Well, you might try dropping the attitude. I’m sure there’s a pound or two in that. You know, with the Cheerios!, we have only one lesson, and it’s very simple lesson: You do whatever it takes.


& April: So I’m sobering up, and I’m heading to the Broadway, Will. I haven’t had a drink in 45 minutes. I’m going to take my hush money and I’m going to mount the first-ever all-white production of The Wiz.



--Dict:
homage — дань; уважение
sit-in — сидячая забастовка
torch — факел
ipecac — ипекакуана; рвотный корень
vanity — тщеславие; суета
upchuck — рвота


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