Eddie Darko (Dad): Well... Maybe when you have children of your own who need braces and you can’t afford them because half of your husband’s paycheck goes to the Federal Government, you’ll regret that.
& Donnie: You are such a fuck-ass.
Elizabeth: Did you just call me a “fuck-ass”? You can go suck a fuck.
Donnie: Oh, please, tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?
Elizabeth: You want me to tell you?
Donnie: Tell me.
Rose Darko (Mom): We will not have this at the dinner table.
Samantha: What’s a fuck-ass?
& Rose: Our son just called me a bitch.
Eddie: You’re not a bitch. You’re bitchen, but you’re not a bitch.
& Frank: Wake up... I’ve been watching you... Come closer... Closer... 28 days... 6 hours... 42 minutes... 12 seconds. That... is when the world... will end.
Donnie: Why?
& Jim: I hate kids.
Fisher: Let's golf.
& Donnie: No mail today. Maybe tomorrow.
& Gretchen: Don’t look so freaked.
Donnie: I’m not.
& Gretchen: My mom had to get a restraining order against my stepdad. He has emotional problems.
Donnie: Oh, I have those too! What kind of emotional problems does your dad have?
Gretchen: He stabbed my mom four times in the chest.
Donnie: Oh.
& Gretchen: “Donnie Darko”? What the hell kind of name is that? It’s like some sort of superhero or something.
Donnie: What makes you think I’m not?
& Gretchen: You’re weird.
Donnie: Sorry.
Gretchen: No, that was a compliment.
& Donnie: What’s the point of living... if you don’t have a dick?
& Donnie: How can you do that?
Frank: I can do anything I want. And so can you.
& Principal Cole: What exactly did you say to Mrs. Farmer?
Mrs. Farmer: I’ll tell you what he said. He asked me to forcibly insert the Life Line exercise card into my anus!
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