Going the Distance

& Amy: Don’t even think about calling me again.
    Garrett: Oh, Jesus. Amy, wait, wait, wait. I should not call you or I should want to call you? ... Okay, so it means what it means. Good.


& Erin: Ow! Oh, my God. Mother bitch.
    Brandy: Erin, you’re late.
    Erin: Thanks, Brandy. I almost forgot why I was running.


& Brandy: Where are you going?
    Erin: I’m 31. I’m an intern. I’m going to get wasted.


& Garrett: What? Hold on. Hold on. You’re ERL?! You’re the dragon?
    Erin: I’m a what?
    Garrett: I’ve been chasing ERL for months now. I just thought ERL was an... I thought ERL was an “Earl,” you know.
    Erin: Erin Rankin Langford. Nobody calls me ERL.


& Garrett: That’s why I like coming and looking at the old couples. Some of them seem genuinely, not only happy, but sometimes I think, content*. I think sometimes that’s more important than, like, happiness.
You know, the only way you’re content in life is if you marry your best friend.
    Erin: They make each other laugh...
    Garrett: So I have to marry Dan?

---

& Airport TSA Agent: Whoa, whoa. You can’t leave your car there. You can’t leave your car at the curb.
    Garrett: I need to talk to this girl quickly.
    Agent: Shit, you chasing a girl? For real?
    Garrett: Yeah.
    Agent: She got a nice ass?
    Garrett: Like the wind.
    Agent: What the hell does that mean?
    Garrett: I have no idea. Please. Two seconds.
    Agent: Go on, now.


& Corinne: Phil!
    Phil: They came in so fast, I didn’t know where to go. Hi. I’m Phil.
    Garrett: Hey. I’m Garrett.
    Phil: Nice to meet you.
    Garrett: Good to meet you.
    Corinne: Why are you introducing yourself?
    Phil: I don’t wanna be rude.
    Corinne: Get up. Fucking get up.
    Garrett: Is she still here?
    Phil: You got a handprint on your ass.
    Garrett: I’ll tell you later.
    Corinne: Don’t engage.
    Phil: I’m eating at a dinner table. They’re the ones fucking.
    Corinne: Get fucking fuck upstairs!
    Phil: You guys are all set up, so I’ll just... Um... Make yourself at home.


& Garrett: What are you wearing?
    Erin: Uh... Red lace panties and a bra and a garter*.
    Garrett: Holy shit, you really went all out.
    Erin: No, you fucking idiot, it’s a fantasy.


& Erin: What are you wearing?
    Garrett: Um... What do you think is sexy?
    Erin: White boxer briefs.
    Garrett: Really? Like Marky Mark?
    Erin: Oh, God, especially like Marky Mark. If you even say “Marky Mark”... I’m gonna fucking come right now.
    Garrett: Shit. Baby, please take this seriously.


& Erin: You know what I fucking love doing? I love riding you!
    Garrett: Wait, wait, wait...
    Erin: God, I love fucking riding you!
    Garrett: But I’m on top. Baby, I’m on top.
    Erin: No, I’m on top!
    Garrett: I’m on top. How can you be on top?
    Erin: Because we’re in your car.
    Garrett: No, we’re on a plane.
    Erin: Didn’t I tell you that we’re in your car?
    Garrett: You said the towel next to my pillow. Why would there be a pillow in the car?
    Erin: Why would there be a towel on the plane?
    Garrett: They give out those hand towels in first class.
    Erin: Well, we wouldn’t be in first class, we’d be in coach*. {...}


& Corinne: You know, Garrett, how much I love my sister, right?
    Garrett: Of course.
    Corinne: I mean, she means everything to me. And that, as you can see, I’m very protective of her. So it’s been very hard for me watching her struggle with this decision... to come with you or to take this incredible job. But, you know... she loves you. And, uh, I know how much you love her. But you need to know how much she’s giving up to be with you. So don’t break her heart. Okay?.. Or I’ll cut your balls off.
    Garrett: ...
    Corinne: I’m not fucking kidding!
    Garrett: Okay.
    Corinne: I’m kidding.
    Garrett: Jesus Christ.
    Corinne: I’m kidding.


& Corinne: Erin, I know you love this place, but there’s a creepy man watching us hug right now.
    Erin: Really?
    Phil: Yeah.
    Corinne: Yeah.
    Erin: Let’s go!


& Corinne: I can get drunk there, right? There’s sort of an unidentifiable smell in here... that I can’t quite just put my finger on.
    Erin: I don’t know, but just push your way in.
    Corinne: It’s urine. It’s urine. I smell urine!
    Erin: Oh, good. That means it’s a good club.
    Corinne: And puke. Oh, yeah. There’s a hint of puke. And urine.
    Erin: Well, that’s even better.


& Garrett: Hi, Corinne.
    Corinne: Hey, Garrett. I like your haircut.
    Garrett: Thanks. Did something different.
    Corinne: And your dick’s in your pants, so that’s good.



-- Dict:
content — удовлетворение
garter — подвязка
coach — экипаж


+ on Imdb



( Yo, she's _so_ not young.