The Deal

Seinfeld 2×9

Elaine: You got something on your mind?
Jerry: No. Things pop into your head. You?
Elaine: Things occur to me from time to time.
Jerry: Yeah. Me too.

Jerry: The idea is to combine the this... and the that. But this cannot be disturbed.
Elaine: Yeah, we just want to take this...
Jerry: ...and add that.
Elaine: But of course, we'd have to figure out a way... to avoid the things that cause the little problems.
Jerry: Maybe some rules or something.

Elaine: I have an idea. No calls the day after that.
Jerry: Beautiful! Let's make it a rule.
Elaine: All right, sir.

Elaine: Okay, okay, rule number two: Spending the night is optional.
Jerry: Well, now we're getting somewhere.

George: What's the deal with Aquaman? Could he go on the land, or was he just restricted to water?

George: You ask me here to have lunch... tell me you slept with Elaine... and then say you're not in the mood for details... Now, you listen to me. I want details, and I want them right now! I don't have a job, I have no place to go. You're not in the mood? Well, you get in the mood!

George: See, that's why I don't have cable, because of that naked station. If I had that in my house, I would never turn it off. I wouldn't sleep. I wouldn't eat. Eventually, firemen would break through the door. They'd find me in my pyjamas with drool coming down my face.

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Jerry: We've tried to arrange a situation... where we'll be able to do this once in a while... and still be friends.
George: What?! Where are you living? Are you here? Are you on this planet?! It's impossible. It can't be done. Thousands of years, people have tried to have their cake and eat it too. So all of a sudden, the two of you are gonna come along and do it. Where do you get the ego? No one can do it. It can't be done!

George: I know less about women... than anyone in the world. But the one thing I do know is, they're not happy if you don't spend the night. It could be a hot, sweaty room with no air conditioning... and all they have is a little Army cot this wide.

George: What about candleholders?
Jerry: Too romantic.
George: Lingerie?
Jerry: Too sexual.
George: Waffle maker?
Jerry: Too domestic.
George: Bust of Nelson Rockefeller?
Jerry: Too... gubernatorial.

Kramer: See, I'm very sensitive about that. I mean, someone's birthday comes up, I keep my ears open.

Elaine: "Think where man's glory most begins and ends... and say my glory was I had such a friend."
Kramer: Yeats.
Elaine: Oh, Kramer!

Elaine: I can't do that.
Jerry: You mean, it's: No this?.. No that?.. No this or that? Oh, boy. What do you want?
Elaine: This, that and the other.

Kramer: So... what are you guys gonna do today?
Elaine: Oh, this and... that.
Jerry: And the other!
Kramer: Boy, I really liked the two of you much better when you weren't a couple.

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