I'm on My Own Path

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 4×3

Jim Oh, no, no, no. Bad idea. Trust me. Being a lawyer is the worst.

♪ Don't be a lawyer ♪
♪ Don't do it ♪
♪ Quickest way to ruin your life ♪
♪ Don't be a lawyer ♪
♪ Not worth it ♪
♪ It'll leave you dead inside ♪
♪ The job is inherently crappy ♪
♪ That's why you never met a lawyer who's happy ♪
♪ It's a guaranteed ♪
♪ Soul destroyer ♪

♪ Law school debt, daily regret ♪
♪ Is that what you dreamed of as a kid? ♪
♪ Or did you hope one day that you'd find a way ♪
♪ To spend four years working on a ♪
♪ Pharmaceutical company's merger ♪
♪ With another pharmaceutical company? ♪
♪ Your only expertise ♪
♪ Is runnin' up fees ♪
♪ And speaking legalese like a dick ♪

AJ: What about human rights law?
Jim: ♪ No money, no, no money ♪
AJ: Environmental law?
Jim: ♪ No money, even less money ♪
AJ: Immigration law?
Jim: ♪ No money, plus it's a bummer ♪
AJ: Okay, but what if one day you make it to the Supreme Court?
Jim: ♪ It'd be great to be on the Supreme Court ♪
           ♪ But you'll never be on the Supreme Court ♪
           ♪ There's truly no chance of that happenin' ♪

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Courtney: Oh, my God. Are you, like, schizo?
Josh Chan: No! I-I'm just introspective.

Rebecca: Hey, how's the dating going? Give me the update on the apps. The "appdate."

Josh Chan: Am I smart enough for her?
Rebecca: Yes. You are perceptive and kind... and that's a very valuable type of intelligence. Trust me, it'll be Louvre at first sight.

Rebecca: Ah... the age-old question: pretzels or law? Pretzels or law?...

Heather: Okay, well, look, our wedding is private.
Valencia: No. Body parts are private. Weddings are for everybody.

Josh Chan: ...I mean, I like impressionism because it disrupted the aesthetic of the overly realistic paintings that were being shown in the Salon in Paris at the time, which was not a hair salon, by the way.

Rebecca: Paula, I... I don't want to be a lawyer anymore.

Rebecca: I never wanted to. It was never my dream. It was my mother's dream... And it's your dream. It's your dream, which is great. The profession needs more people like you, who care about all that hideously boring crap.

Rebecca: So, it wouldn't be Pretzel Central anymore. It'd be my own thing. And I'm thinking of calling it... Rebetzel's.

Rebecca: You know, I don't believe in destiny anymore. I just believe in taking responsibility for your own happiness. And right now, for me, that's my friends, volunteering at the jail, and... this pretzel shop, as crazy as that seems.

Rebecca: I love fairy tales. And this is from the greatest fairy tale of all time... the Bible... I made some changes because there's always room for improvement.

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