Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 4×5
Paula: I've said good-bye to a lot of people. And... you get used to it. You say hello, you say good-bye, and you just try to treasure the moments in between.
Rebecca: I'm... losing two friends at once. But I will be cheering you all on very sincerely from... my small, unprofitable pretzel store, with my no boyfriend, having not had sex since before the slammer, because... oh, right... I was also in jail.
White Josh: Hector loves this show. What is it about again?
Darryl: It's a British cop thing with a child murder in a fishing village. And it stars that Swedish actress and that Scottish guy. And some episodes are two hours and some are 30 minutes.
White Josh: Wow. All right. Sounds good.
Rebecca: What I'm about to say is-is horrible... I see life as a contest, and I'm now losing.
Dr. Akopian: What? R-Rebecca, I-I didn't hear you.
Rebecca: I feel less than when others are doing better than me.
Dr. Akopian: Okay. I'll come sit next to you.
Rebecca: It's funny, 'cause I was saying I was behind so you would say, "No, no, no, you're not behind." But you said that I am. It's fine. No, it's just... It's slightly jarring when a medical professional confirms your worst fears, but that makes sense...
♪ It's confirm-ed ♪
♪ It's official ♪
♪ The group mind has decided you're in love ♪
♪ Say yes to long-term ♪
♪ Say yes ♪
♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss ♪
♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance ♪
♪ Kiss, dance, kiss, dance ♪
♪ Kiss, dance, kiss, dance, kiss, dance ♪
♪ Yay! ♪
Valencia: Rebecca, you're being weird.
Rebecca: ... I don't even recognize that word anymore, 'cause the word is not "weird." It's actually "fizzy" now.
Rebecca: Fizzy is a word that means multiple things. It's like "sick" or "bad" or "aloha" or "shalom..."
Rebecca: ...and you can follow me on my Insta or my Finsta, if I let you.... Anyway, I got to go to a pop-up candy museum and then a hookah bar and then a party inside a photo booth. So got to dip. Oh, I'm sorry. "Dip" means "bounce," which means "peace out." Which means "leave."
Paula: You don't understand. You're not Mom. He grew in my stomach! His first sentence was, "Wuv you, Mama." For the first four years of his life, we were stapled together unless I was at work. And then from the ages of four to 18, I lost him to his stupid friends and knives and girls he never told me about and masturbation and selling pot, and now he's back, and he likes me, and I wuv him more than ever. And I just... I don't want to lose him yet, Scott! Please!
Heather: So true. So brutal... Trutal.
Darryl: Now, Netflix... is "hebbybebbynetflix." HBO Go is "hebbybebbyhbo."
White Josh: Mm-hmm. Oh, okay.
Darryl: Hulu is...
White Josh: Hmm? No, I think I got it.
Rebecca: I love this song! What's it called? "Endless Verses"? Huh? "Waiting for the Chorus"?.. "Only the Bad Parts of a Song"?
Rebecca: I continue to be horrible. Seriously, if I weren't me, I wouldn't talk to me.
Heather: Girl group is "forevah."
Valencia: And "evah."
Rebecca: And "evah."
Paula: And "evah."
Paula: ♪ 'Cause I always never believed in you ♪
♪ I never gave up giving up on you ♪
♪ Deep inside I always knew ♪
♪ That you'd eventually never come through ♪
♪ Not for a second did I think ♪
♪ You wouldn't end up dead or in the clink ♪
♪ For possession or assault or worse ♪
♪ 'Cause I've always never believed in you ♪
♪ I never once doubted doubting you ♪
♪ With every opportunity that you blew ♪
♪ All my worst fears just kept coming true ♪
♪ With every horrifying thing ♪
♪ You'd say or do ♪
♪ I continued to never believe in you ♪
Paula: ♪ 'Cause now I actually believe in you ♪
♪ No longer have a total lack of faith in you ♪
♪ Apparently there are things you can do ♪
♪ You're full of potential, and no one knew ♪
♪ Allow me to tip my hat to you, sir ♪
♪ 'Cause you're no longer a total loser ♪
♪ It feels strange to say it ♪
♪ But it's true ♪
♪ I weirdly, shockingly ♪
♪ Completely believe ♪
♪ In you ♪
♪ I believe, I believe, I believe ♪
♪ In you ♪
--
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