The Athenaeum Allocation

The Big Bang Theory 11×17

Howard: You know, fun fact, did you know baby boys can pee straight up?
Raj: Grown-up boys, too....
Leonard: Why would we high-five that?

Penny: What is this picture?
Amy: Oh, it's an MRI of our brains photoshopped to look like they're kissing.
Sheldon: Is it too sexy?

Raj: Guys, May 12, that's exciting!

Howard: I would take a bullet for them. But I would get seriously mutilated for you.
Bernadette: That's sweet. But you should know, if you got seriously mutilated, I might dump you.

Sheldon: You know, I'm really happy with our wedding date. The month squared equals the square of the sum of the members of the set of prime factors of the day. Isn't that romantic?

Raj: I don't know, I was raised by servants, and look at me.
Howard: I literally can't tell if you think that's good or bad.
Raj: Well, on one hand, they filled my tub with scented oils and brought me honeyed sweets; on the other hand... I spent my twenties incapable of talking to women. So you know, pros and cons.

Kathleen: Here's my card. Why don't you two talk it over, and I will check to see if our soup spoons are “deeper than they are wide”...

Bernadette: We're not putting a TV in the bathroom! That's how you get hemorrhoids.

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Howard: You just said you didn't want to.
Bernadette: No, I don't want to have to, but if I want to, I should get to.

Howard: I think it's pretty sexist of you to say a dad can't stay home with his children.
Bernadette: You know what else is sexist, the phrase “suck it,” yet... here we are.

Sheldon: I said some pretty unprofessional things about his work. I may have even used the “S” word.
Amy: Subpar?!
Sheldon: I'm not proud of it, Amy, but I have a temper.

Sheldon: ...so if you could just please leave before I get angry and say something I will regret about your face, your height, your personal hygiene or the fact that your science, while serviceable, lacks panache.
Leonard: That's actually one of the nicest things you've ever said about my work.
Sheldon: And now I regret it.

Leonard: You're my best friend. I want you to have the wedding of your dreams.
Sheldon: On Mars?!
Leonard: Okay, I want Amy to have the wedding of her dreams.

Raj: Parenting is hard. Like, I've seen and smelled things today that I cannot unsee or unsmell.

Bernadette: When I went by the office they gave me coffee and cookies and no one peed on me. I miss that so much.
Howard: Well, I love the kids, but I also love my job. And sleep.

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On the IMDb