Pig

Preacher 2×7

Cassidy: No God. No men in white suits. No nothin’.
Jesse: Maybe I was wrong about this place. Maybe it was a bad idea.
Cassidy: No. New Orleans is never a bad idea, all right.

Klaus Helmut Starr: Yes, it’s serious. They’re praying to a pig.

Saltonstall: There will be women... in time, if that’s your desire. But it’s my impression, Herr Starr, that what you really want is... «to sweep the streets clean of the parasites that befoul our society and create a civilization based on the principles of absolute order and uncompromising discipline.» Your words, I believe.

Starr: Like a 10-inch dick, I’d need to see it to believe it.

Saltonstall: Tell me... Are you Christian, Herr Starr?
Starr: Does it make a difference?
Saltonstall: This is just the first step in our organization’s rigorous screening process. Only the most deserving... And, yes, pious... candidates will be considered.
Starr: Then I am very much... a Christian.

Cassidy: Hello? Hello!.. Oh, bollocks. Not again.

Saltonstall: What do you think is the source of our enduring power?
Starr: I would imagine a combination of economic influence and sexual blackmail.
Saltonstall: Some, of course. But the true inspiration of our authority is... Christ.

Saltonstall: For generations, The Grail has protected this holy lineage in preparation for one event... The End Of The World. Only God knows exactly when, but it will be soon. We have been assured from sources at the highest levels. And The Grail will be ready. And at the exact moment that hope is abandoned, our Savior will reveal Himself to the frightened masses.
Starr: Ingenious. The world on its knees, begging for direction like the ugly girl at a gang bang.

Saltonstall: The Samson Unit of The Grail handles the false prophets, contenders to Christ’s throne. Our job is to rid the world of their competing narratives. Charlemagne. Lincoln. Belushi. You name it.

Doomsday Preacher: Blood, people! Blood and brains and people screaming until their lungs hurt. That’s how bad it’s gonna be! That is what’s coming! So... watch your asses. I’m taking five. Don’t forget the beer bucket.

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Jesse: Question for you?
Doomsday Preacher: Hit me.
Jesse: Are you crazy or just a con man?
Doomsday Preacher: And those are my only two choices? ’Cause I normally describe myself as a «left-handed alcoholic sinner child of God.»

Doomsday Preacher: What are you looking for? Proof?
Jesse: Well, that’s what you’re advertising here, right? «Signs of the Apocalypse» and all that?
Doomsday Preacher: Ah... that’s mostly just metaphor. I hear things. I see things. People come up to me, they say all sorts of crazy stuff. And there has been an uptick ever since Tom Cruise exploded, no question. The Cubs winning... Trump, this... This flying pig. ... But sooner or later, there’s always an explanation... Strong pitching, KGB interference, whatever... In the end, there’s always a good reason.

Jesse: So you’re just out here scaring people? For money?
Doomsday Preacher: They’re already scared. They come listen to me talk about the end of the world so they can worry about that instead of what really scares them.
Jesse: Which is what?
Doomsday Preacher: Themselves. What is more frightening than who we are and what we done?

Scientist: .... It was saturated with hydrogen atoms. Permeated the pig’s tissue. Resulted in limited levitation. Like a meat balloon.
Journalist: «Meat balloon»?
Scientist: Meat balloon.
Journalist: It just seems so incredible.
Scientist: Remind me... Are you a scientist?
Journalist: No.
Scientist: Well, then shut up.

   

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