The Line Substitution Solution

The Big Bang Theory 9×23

& Penny: ... Helium.
    Sheldon: Yes.
    Penny: Yes!
    Sheldon: ... Taylor Swift.
    Penny: Yes.

& Sheldon: See, I remembered because if it looks like Kim it’s Kim, if it looks kind of like Kim it’s Kourtney, and if it looks nothing like Kim it’s Khloe.

& Sheldon: Oh, well, I have a few questions for him about the last Avengers movie... and a whole lot of answers.

& Sheldon: You know the golden rule of line etiquette: «No cuts, no buts, no coconuts.»

& Beverly: Penny, it’s only natural to want your mother-in-law to like you, and I acknowledge I can be an intimidating person. So what can I do to make this process easier for you?
    Penny: Uh, for starters, maybe you can not psychoanalyze everything I say?
    Beverly: And how does it make you feel when I psychoanalyze everything you say?

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& Raj: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chairs on sticks are comfy.

& Sheldon: Amy? A proper apology requires three steps. Step one— an admission of wrongdoing. Amy, I was wrong. Step two— a promise never to repeat said action. Amy, that action will never be repeated, and that’s a promise. Step three— an earnest request for forgiveness. Amy, I hope you can forgive me. And I hope you do it right now, ’cause there’s an Uber waiting downstairs, and I don’t want to repeat this apology nonsense with my driver Ganesh.

& Leonard: Hey, how’d it go?
    Sheldon: It went well. Yeah, I’ve learned that if you never say you’re sorry, the times you do really puts them on their heels.

& Bernadette: Um, you should probably talk to Penny, too.
    Beverly: About what?

& Penny: This is ridiculous! I’ve been trying to make a connection with you all day, and clearly I’m getting nowhere.
    Beverly: Well, are you seeking a connection or just some form of validation?..

& Howard: I can’t believe we’re gonna get beat up, and it’s not because of your chair.

& Sheldon: You know, right now, at the back of this line, there’s a movie fan like you who’s not going to get in, because this person simply doesn’t care. Yeah, well, 61 years ago, there was another person at the back of the line and her name was Rosa Parks!

& Leonard: Buddy, let it go.
    Sheldon: No, I can’t. This isn’t right.
    Leonard: You did everything you could.
    Sheldon: No, I could’ve done more.

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On the IMDb