& Peace is our Profession.
& Narrator: For more than a year, ominous rumors had been privately circulating among high-level Western leaders that the Soviet Union had been at work on what was darkly hinted to be the ultimate weapon: a doomsday device.....
& Narrator: In order to guard against surprise nuclear attack... America’s Strategic Air Command maintains... a large force of B-52 bombers airborne 24 hours a day. Each B-52 can deliver a nuclear bomb load of 50 megatons... equal to 16 times the total explosive force of all the bombs... and shells used by all the armies in World War II. Based in America, the Airborne Alert Force... is deployed from the Persian Gulf to the Arctic Ocean. But they have one geographical factor in common... They are all two hours from their targets inside Russia.
& Major Kong: Old Ripper wouldn’t be giving us Plan R... unless them Ruskies had already clobbered Washington... and a lot of other towns with a sneak attack.
& Major Kong: Well, boys, I reckon this is it. Nuclear combat toe-to-toe with the Ruskies.
& Major Kong: Boys, I ain’t much of a hand at making speeches. But I got a fair idea that something doggone important... is going on back there. I’ve got a fair idea of the kind of personal emotions... that some of you fellows may be thinking. Heck, I reckon you wouldn’t be human beings... if you didn’t have pretty strong personal feelings about nuclear combat. I want you to remember one thing. The folks back home are counting on you. And by golly, we ain’t about to let them down.
Tell you something else. If this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it might be... I’d say you’re all in line for some important promotions... and personal citations when this thing’s over with. That goes for every last one of you... regardless of your race, color or your creed. Now let’s get this thing on the hump. We got some flying to do.
& General Ripper: Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war?
Group Capt. Mandrake: No, I don’t think I do, sir, no.
General Ripper: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
& General Ripper: Have you ever heard of fluoridation of water?
Group Capt. Mandrake: Yes, I have heard of that, Jack, yes.
General Ripper: Do you know what it is?
Group Capt. Mandrake: No, no, I don’t know what it is.
General Ripper: Do you realize that fluoridation... is the most monstrously conceived... and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face.
& Group Capt. Mandrake: Shoot it off! Shoot with the gun! That’s what the bullets are for, you twit!
Colonel Guano: Okay, I’m gonna get your money for you. But if you don’t get the president on the phone, you know what’s gonna happen? You’re gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company.
& President Muffley: You mean people could actually stay down there for a hundred years?
Dr. Strangelove: It would not be difficult, Mein Führer. Nuclear reactors could— heh, I’m sorry, Mr. President— nuclear reactors could provide power almost indefinitely.
& President Muffley: Well, I would hate to have to decide... who stays up and who goes down.
Dr. Strangelove: Well, that would not be necessary, Mr. President. It could easily be accomplished with a computer. And the computer could be set and programmed... to accept factors from youth, health... sexual fertility, intelligence... and a cross-section of necessary skills.
Of course, it would be absolutely vital... that our top government and military men be included... to foster and impart the required principles of leadership and tradition. Naturally, they would breed prodigiously. There would be much time and little to do. But with the proper breeding techniques and a ratio of, say... ten females to each male... they could then work their way back to the present gross national product... within 20 years.
& General Turgidson: Doctor... you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn’t that necessitate the abandonment... of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship? I mean, as far as men were concerned?
Dr. Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines... the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics... which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.
General Turgidson: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.
& Dr. Strangelove: Sir! I have a plan!.. Mein Führer! I can walk!
--
+++ quotes on the IMDb
& Narrator: For more than a year, ominous rumors had been privately circulating among high-level Western leaders that the Soviet Union had been at work on what was darkly hinted to be the ultimate weapon: a doomsday device.....
& Narrator: In order to guard against surprise nuclear attack... America’s Strategic Air Command maintains... a large force of B-52 bombers airborne 24 hours a day. Each B-52 can deliver a nuclear bomb load of 50 megatons... equal to 16 times the total explosive force of all the bombs... and shells used by all the armies in World War II. Based in America, the Airborne Alert Force... is deployed from the Persian Gulf to the Arctic Ocean. But they have one geographical factor in common... They are all two hours from their targets inside Russia.
& Major Kong: Old Ripper wouldn’t be giving us Plan R... unless them Ruskies had already clobbered Washington... and a lot of other towns with a sneak attack.
& Major Kong: Well, boys, I reckon this is it. Nuclear combat toe-to-toe with the Ruskies.
& Major Kong: Boys, I ain’t much of a hand at making speeches. But I got a fair idea that something doggone important... is going on back there. I’ve got a fair idea of the kind of personal emotions... that some of you fellows may be thinking. Heck, I reckon you wouldn’t be human beings... if you didn’t have pretty strong personal feelings about nuclear combat. I want you to remember one thing. The folks back home are counting on you. And by golly, we ain’t about to let them down.
Tell you something else. If this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it might be... I’d say you’re all in line for some important promotions... and personal citations when this thing’s over with. That goes for every last one of you... regardless of your race, color or your creed. Now let’s get this thing on the hump. We got some flying to do.
& General Ripper: Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war?
Group Capt. Mandrake: No, I don’t think I do, sir, no.
General Ripper: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
& General Ripper: Have you ever heard of fluoridation of water?
Group Capt. Mandrake: Yes, I have heard of that, Jack, yes.
General Ripper: Do you know what it is?
Group Capt. Mandrake: No, no, I don’t know what it is.
General Ripper: Do you realize that fluoridation... is the most monstrously conceived... and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face.
& Group Capt. Mandrake: Shoot it off! Shoot with the gun! That’s what the bullets are for, you twit!
Colonel Guano: Okay, I’m gonna get your money for you. But if you don’t get the president on the phone, you know what’s gonna happen? You’re gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company.
& President Muffley: You mean people could actually stay down there for a hundred years?
Dr. Strangelove: It would not be difficult, Mein Führer. Nuclear reactors could— heh, I’m sorry, Mr. President— nuclear reactors could provide power almost indefinitely.
& President Muffley: Well, I would hate to have to decide... who stays up and who goes down.
Dr. Strangelove: Well, that would not be necessary, Mr. President. It could easily be accomplished with a computer. And the computer could be set and programmed... to accept factors from youth, health... sexual fertility, intelligence... and a cross-section of necessary skills.
Of course, it would be absolutely vital... that our top government and military men be included... to foster and impart the required principles of leadership and tradition. Naturally, they would breed prodigiously. There would be much time and little to do. But with the proper breeding techniques and a ratio of, say... ten females to each male... they could then work their way back to the present gross national product... within 20 years.
& General Turgidson: Doctor... you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn’t that necessitate the abandonment... of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship? I mean, as far as men were concerned?
Dr. Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines... the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics... which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.
General Turgidson: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.
& Dr. Strangelove: Sir! I have a plan!.. Mein Führer! I can walk!
--
+++ quotes on the IMDb
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