Two and a Half Men 6×12
Alan: Oh, no, no, no, nothing’s happened yet. Just a little kissing, and she could feel my... enthusiasm.
Charlie: What, are you Noel Coward? Just say “boner.”
Alan: Why do I bother talking to you?
Charlie: Beats the hell out of me.
& Alan: The thing is, Melissa and I have-have this chemistry, and it’s really hard not to act on it.
Charlie: Yeah, it’s tough when you work together.
Alan: Right.
Charlie: You don’t crap where you eat.
Alan: I know.
Charlie: You don’t dip your pen in company ink. And you never bang a woman who owns a snake or a bird.
Alan: What?!
Charlie: They’re usually nuts.
& Berta: So, Zippy, I hear you’ve been sinking your putts on the company golf course.
Alan: Thanks for telling her.
Charlie: Thanks for telling me.
Berta: Word of advice: it may seem like fun and games at the beginning, but mark my words, sooner or later, you’re gonna wake up with a broken heart and a lollipop stuck to your keister.
Alan: You want to explain that to me?
Charlie: I’d rather forget I ever heard it.
& Charlie: ... Her waist or yours?
Alan: Both. And it wasn’t easy. I haven’t checked, but I’m pretty sure my balls look like two-thirds of the Blue Man Group.
Charlie: Berta, hide the vacuum cleaner!
Alan: For the last time, I use it to get lint off my trousers!
Charlie: Then why do you call it Brenda?
& Charlie: So when the mood strikes and she’s ready, you’ll be ready, too.
Alan: Ready today, ready tonight, ready tomorrow. I’m ready now!
Jake: What’s he ready for?
Charlie: If I were to guess, I’d say he’s ready to screw up his life a little more.
Jake: Is that even possible?
Charlie: We’ll see.
& Jake: What’s that smell?
Charlie: Stale beer, vomit, urine. You hungry?
& Jake: I can’t talk now, Dad. I’m about to get lucky with an older woman.
& Shelly: Alan, would you be totally weirded out by a little mother-daughter tag team?
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Комментариев нет:
Отправить комментарий