David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

Two and a Half Men 6×14

& Melissa: Alan’s birthday is next Saturday.
    Charlie: Really? I don’t think so.
    Melissa: Yeppers. He’s gonna be 40.
    Charlie: Wow, that is so weird. My baby brother’s gonna be 40...
    Melissa: How old are you?
    Charlie: 39. That’s what makes it so weird.

& Alan: So... so, it’s just us, right?
    Melissa: Of course, it’s just us. Who else would it be?
    Alan: I don’t know. My friends, family. A close-up magician...
    Melissa: Oh, darn! What gave it away?
    Alan: Well, when I left the house, Jake was taking a shower, uh, Charlie had on long pants, and Berta said she had to quit early because she was going to some loser’s birthday party.

& Melissa: All right, well, uh, now that we’re all here, why don’t we take turns saying something about Alan and how much he means to us. Okay, Jake, you want to start?
    Jake: No, I got to go make room for cake.
    Melissa: Uh, Berta, why don’t you get the ball rolling?
    Berta: Sure. What the hell? Zippy, I got to tell you, when you first moved in, I didn’t really care for you. You were a persnickety, self-righteous, smug son of a bitch. And now here we are, six years later.
    — Hear, hear.

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& Magician: Who likes magic?
    Berta: I shaved for this?!

& Charlie: I can’t believe it.
    Jake: Believe what?
    Charlie: I think I miss him.
    Jake: Miss who?
    Charlie: Your father. What about you?
    Jake: What about me what?
    Charlie: Do you miss him?
    Jake: Who?
    Charlie: Your father.
    Jake: Why? Where is he?

& Charlie: I told you he would be back!
    Jake: Who?

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