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American Horror Story. Double Feature: Death Valley

10×8

Richard Nixon: Sir, Kennedy cannot be trusted.
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: You're just sore because he whooped you in the election.
Richard Nixon: Ha. He didn't whoop me. He stole it. Son of a bitch Daley handed it to him.

Richard Nixon: You once told me your motto was, "Never make mistakes in a hurry"...

Jack Kennedy: Dick, how's New York treating you?
Richard Nixon: Oh, just peachy. I think I actually spotted an American citizen the other day.

Jack Kennedy: Okay. So what's the mystery? Is someone in my cabinet a Russian spy?
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: I wish it were only that...

Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: 5,000 people a year. It's a small number whose sacrifice ensures the safety of 190 million Americans.
Richard Nixon: And with the technology that we are getting in exchange we will dominate the world!

Richard Nixon: Well, I was right. That Ivy League bastard... he's gonna do it. .... I just got word that, uh, Kennedy is convening a secret study group. You wanna guess what they're studying?
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: Oh, God almighty.
Richard Nixon: That's right. Little Lord Fauntleroy's just dying to tell the American people what's going on. Now, we can't just let this happen.
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: Do we know who's in the study group?
Richard Nixon: Ike, you can bet your ass there's at least one goddamn Jew and one Harvard fuck. And they're gonna go to the media. They always do. And then we're... we're screwed royal.
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: Have you been drinking, Dick?
Richard Nixon: No, I am drinking. And I've never had a better reason.

Richard Nixon: Now we have to start thinking about containment. We need to be prepared for anything, sir.

Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: You need to call Jackie.
Mamie Eisenhower: Oh, call Jackie?
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: To express your condolences.
Mamie Eisenhower: I will do no such thing. The work I did in the White House, and all I got was scorn. "The Pink Palace" the press called it, as if there's something wrong with blush tones.

Mamie Eisenhower: Now, don't you tell yourself you've done anything wrong. Everything you do is for the good of the country. This is patriotism at its finest. And I'm proud of you. You should be proud.
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: You be proud for the both of us.

Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: You've all been briefed as to what's going on, so let's get the first question out of the way. Yes, it's true. Every damn word of it.

Mamie Eisenhower: Can you believe "The New York Times" says adults across the country are starting to celebrate birthdays? And all because of me and the ones I throw for myself. Birthday parties are not just for children anymore. You're not the only one who's leaving behind a legacy.

Mamie Eisenhower: I need you to convince Ike to do the right thing.
Richard Nixon: Why would he listen to me? Ike doesn't even like me.
Mamie Eisenhower: That's true. He doesn't exactly hold you in the highest of esteem. Who does?

Troy Lord: Breathing exercises. That's what pregnant women do, right?
Jamie Howard: Yes, when they're about to go in labor. We're about nine months early.
Troy Lord: I'm sorry, I haven't had a chance to read my copy of "What to Expect When You're Not Supposed to be Expecting Because You're a Fucking Dude"!

Kendall Carr: You guys, there's always a logical explanation for things. Whenever some unexplainable phenomenon happens, everyone screams "aliens" or "ghosts", but it's never any of those things.

Jamie Howard: This pregnancy sort of came out of the blue.

Dr. Reyes: So... Is one of you the father?
Cal Cambon: Yes.
Troy Lord: Yes.
Dr. Reyes: And you?
Kendall Carr: Are not.

Troy Lord: Wait, wait, wait, how is it gonna come out of me?

Kendall Carr: Where are we?
Theta: This is a safe space.

Theta: Embrace the gift that has been given to you. You've been chosen. This is an opportunity to save an entire planet.
Kendall Carr: Save Earth by populating it with four-armed freaks?
Theta: Who said anything about saving Earth?

Calico: Life must find its own way.

Calico: Ignorance is bliss, sweetheart. Sit down, trust me.

Theta: Don't focus on the pain. Focus on the future.
Troy Lord: Please. Just tell me what happens next.
Theta: .... Birth.

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