Blue Moon

American Horror Story. Double Feature: Death Valley

10×9

Valiant Thor: Let's begin the mission at hand. We promised you technology, and today we start to make good on that promise.
Richard Nixon: What in the hell is that?
Valiant Thor: This is the future... Go ahead. Touch it. It won't bite....
Richard Nixon: It's a goddamn television.
Valiant Thor: Much better than that.

Valiant Thor: It's a computing device you can hold in the palm of your hand. More powerful than the IBM 7090 now taking up an entire room at the Pentagon.
Richard Nixon: Well, that is impossible.
Valiant Thor: One day, these devices will connect your world and usher in an age of peace and harmony among mankind. This is what the future holds, gentlemen. Do you want it or not?

Mamie Eisenhower: ... And thanks to me, adults all across the country are celebrating their birthdays with parties. They're not just for kiddos anymore, Mr. Man. And now they're going to celebrate Halloween. I want grown-ups to join in the fun, dress up, that sort of thing. Make Halloween less juvenile... My legacy will surpass Eleanor Roosevelt's, that old basset hound. They all love her, not me. Well, that's about to change forever.

Mamie Eisenhower: Nevada. Didn't Twining want a place to test planes? So give them that. Or give them all of Nevada. Do you remember during the campaign when we had to stop in that godforsaken state? It was so beastly hot and dry there, I nearly fainted from the temperature...

Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: This executive order hereby withdraws 38,000 acres located 80 miles north of Las Vegas from public use. The land will be set aside... for the construction of a top secret biological testing and information exchange facility. Its current AEC designation... is Area 51.

Mamie Eisenhower: No, it wasn't a nightmare. It was an absolute dream.

Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: She's an actress, Dick. She takes pills and she drinks too much. No one's taking her seriously.
Richard Nixon: Sir, all it takes is one reporter asking questions and we are six ways to Sunday without a paddle. And my dreams of running for president again? Well, that dream dies.

Richard Nixon: Are we still not on speaking terms, sir?
Dwight 'Ike' Eisenhower: If we were, I'd tell you to go fuck yourself.

Valiant Thor: Ah, I like your sense of humor, sir. You might need it. Please, this way. Are you ready to learn how the world works, Mr. President?
Lyndon Johnson: Pretty good idea how the world works, sonny.
Valiant Thor: Of course you do...
Lyndon Johnson: As I live and shit.

Theta: To be human is to not understand. The optimum condition for your race is to surrender to that innocence.

Kendall Carr: Why are we standing on a set of the moon landing?
Calico: Isn't it obvious? They faked it. Here, 50 years ago. Right around the time they abducted me.

Kendall Carr: Wait, seriously? Stanley Kubrick? Why would he direct a fake moon landing?
Calico: Dicky Nixon was gaga for "Strangelove". It was his favorite movie. And some say, afterwards, Kubrick was given a lifetime contract at Warner Bros. with no constrictions.

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