Money Laundering and a Cascade of Hormones

Young Sheldon 5×6

Missy: Are you allowed to have a girlfriend?
Sheldon: In the Baptist church, yes. Pastor Jeff is married. And was married before, so he's had two wives, but not at the same time, that's not allowed.
Pastor Rob: Thank you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: At least not anymore. In the Old Testament, Abraham had two, Jacob had four, and Solomon had 1,000, but those were largely for political alliances.
Pastor Rob: Fun fact: only 700 of those were wives. The other 300 were concubines.
Sheldon: I wouldn't count on the Bible for facts, but that was fun.

Pastor Rob: I'm thinking it might be a good idea if we gave the kids a talk about the facts of life.
Pastor Jeff: You mean like, S-E-X?
Peggy: Who are you spelling that for?
Pastor Jeff: G-O-D.

Peggy: Sex, sex, sex. Get over it.

Missy: I didn't ask you 'cause I know what you'll say.
Mary: You don't know what I'm gonna say.
Missy: "It's a sin." "You're too young." "Wait till marriage."
Mary: Well, it is, you are, and you should.

Sheldon: You can't be too young if you're an aphid, some of them are born pregnant.

Sheldon: It's just her hormones. Would you like to learn more?... When children reach adolescence, a cascade of hormones are released...

Pastor Rob: I'll tell Pastor Jeff. I like watching his face get all red when I mention S-E-X... Hey, yours does, too!

Mary: I think First Corinthians 7:2 is actually a pretty good place to start. "Each man should have relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband."
Pastor Rob: Yeah, I'm just not sure quoting scripture is the most exciting way to engage.
Mary: I was going more for guilt and fear.
Pastor Rob: Well, those are classics for a reason. I just think that if we make the fruit too forbidden, someone might want to sneak a bite...

Pastor Rob: Actually, this is great. You can tell the kids how you waited till marriage. I think it'll be really powerful for them to hear your story.
Mary: Uh-huh, right, right. Right.
Pastor Rob: Something seems not right.
Mary: Um, it's just, um... I didn't wait all the way until marriage.
Pastor Rob: Hey, none of my business.
Mary: Thank you.
Pastor Rob: But I appreciate the honesty... Well, this just got a little awkward.
Mary: Yup. Yeah.
Pastor Rob: All right, have a good one.
Mary: Okay.

Meemaw: How we doing?
Georgie: There's a problem with the cash box.
Meemaw: Oh, what's that?
Georgie: I can't get it to close.
Meemaw: That is my kind of problem.

Pastor Rob: Mary Cooper, I want to sex you up. Mary: I would like that very much.

Georgie: We're partners!
Meemaw: First of all, we're not partners, and second... Actually, "not partners" covers it all pretty well.
Georgie: Fine. Good luck laundering this money without me.
Meemaw: You know how to do that?
Georgie: I've seen Scarface, like, ten times.
Meemaw: Great. I'll just watch Scarface.

Mary: Do not look at his butt. Do not look! Okay, do not look again.

Connie: What do you want?
Jake: Is that any way to greet an officer of the law?
Connie: Sorry. What do you want?

Connie: What kind of contribution are we talking?
Jake: Well, that's up to you. Oh, I understand that somewhere between nine and 11% is popular.
Connie: Ten percent?!
Jake: If you insist.

Adult Sheldon: Every culture has their taboos. In the Ukraine, it's rude to whistle indoors, and they're correct. Not a fan.

Adult Sheldon: In our society, any discussion of human reproduction seems to be so upsetting, it causes nothing but chaos. .... Even the word "sex" provokes an uncomfortable reaction. I thought "fornicate" might work, but that seemed too judgy. Then I found the perfect word, a word so bland and clinical that it would be impossible to take offense to it... "Coitus."
Sheldon: That'll work.

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