John: Abby, you and Harper have a perfect relationship. Why do you want to ruin that by engaging in one of the most archaic institution in the history of the human race?
Abby: Because I want to marry her.
John: Okay, you say that, but what you're actually doing is tricking the woman you claim to love by trapping her in a box of heteronormativity and trying to make her your property.
Abby: No, it's not about owning her. It's about building a life with her. She is my person, and I really want everyone to know that.
John: I suppose that's one way of looking at it...
John: I'm sorry, ask her dad for his blessing?! Way to stick it to the patriarchy. Really well done.
Abby: It's five days. How bad can it be?
Tipper: Harper, I would never ask two grown women to share the same bed!
John: Have you managed to get a man's permission to take ownership of an adult human woman yet?
Abby: So, Sloane and Eric, you guys make gift baskets, right?
Sloane: No. We create curated gift experiences inside of handmade reclaimed wood vessels.
Ms. Levin: I'm telling you this because I'm not just looking at you. This is a family affair.
Tipper: Well, I can assure you, this family has nothing to hide.
Tipper: Abby, what are you doing in the closet?
Tipper: Are you the ex-boyfriend?
John: Y-Yes. I am John, Abby's heterosexual ex-boyfriend, and I have come to get her back.
Tipper: Mm. I see. Well, it would've been nice to have known you were coming, but since you are here, enjoy.
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+ Quotes on the IMDb
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