Pandemonium

The Good Place 3×12

Chapter 39

Michael: I'm not meant for any of this, Eleanor. I'm just middle management! What if I fail? It'll be like the failure to end all failures. It'll be... an epic fail.

Michael: Is my tie getting tighter, or is my neck getting fatter somehow?

Eleanor: You can do this. You are Michael. You are smart and capable. And you're a fearless leader. And you are gonna take a deep breath, stand up, open that door and say, "Hi, John. I'm Michael. I'm the Architect. Come on in." Got it?...

Eleanor: Hi, John. I'm Eleanor. I'm the Architect. Come on in.

Eleanor: So... let me sum this up for you, John... Ya dead.

Chidi: Uh-oh. Michael looks like me. That's bad.
Eleanor: Fun little update...

Eleanor: Scared is the best way to be horny. Oh, now who's doing the teaching?

Tahani: Don't you see? The Bad Place didn't pick the worst people. They picked the people who would be the worst for us!

Eleanor: Those motherforkers...

Shawn: What's that thing you humans say when you're playing chess and you trap your opponent into an inescapable position? Oh, right. Eat butt, you ding dongs!

Eleanor: Jason, talk to no one. Go nowhere. Do nothing.
Jason: I won't let you down.

Eleanor: Let's just take this step by step. Step one, you leave so I can snap your amnesiac ex-girlfriend out of her post-death coma and welcome her into fake heaven.
Chidi: That's step one?

---

Tahani: I shan't let it happen.

Chidi: Look, this isn't just about me feeling awkward around my ex. It's more about, if I am awkward around my ex, everyone gets tortured forever.

Eleanor: The Bad Place has pulled off the most intricate cork blork of all time... Hmm, it's a nice touch that the cursing filter maintains the rhyme. I appreciate that attention to detail.

Eleanor: I don't normally cry at movies... But that one was pretty good... That girl was hot. The guy was, too.

Eleanor: I wish we had more time together.
Chidi: Oh, time means nothing. Jeremy Bearimy, baby. We'll just get through this. And then you and I can chill out in the dot of the eye forever.

Eleanor: Janet?... Can you just, you know, like, tell me the answer? You know, the answer to everything. You know all there is to know in the universe. Crunch the numbers. Tell me the answer.

Eleanor: What's the point of love if it's just gonna disappear? And how is it worse to not love anybody? There has to be meaning to existence, otherwise the universe is just made of pain, and I don't like the thought of that, so tell me the answer!

Janet: The more human I become, the less things make sense. But that's part of the fun, right?
Eleanor: What do you mean?
Janet: If there were an answer I could give you to how the universe works, it wouldn't be special. It would just be machinery fulfilling its cosmic design. It would just be a big, dumb food processor. But since nothing seems to make sense, when you find something or someone that does, it's euphoria.

Eleanor: Pandemonium is from "Paradise Lost." Milton called the center of hell, "Pandemonium," meaning, "place of all demons." Chidi tricked me into reading "Paradise Lost" by telling me Satan was, and I quote, "my type." A big, mean, bald guy with a goatee. I mean, he wasn't wrong.
Janet: Oh, no. That's very on brand for you.

Eleanor: I guess all I can do is embrace the pandemonium, find happiness in the unique insanity of being here, now.
Janet: We'll do this together. In the words of the man that I love... "I got you, dog."

Eleanor: Hi, Chidi. I'm Eleanor. Come on in.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks