The Tom/Brady

Preacher 3×8

Herr Starr: No matter what happens from here on out, I'm with you, Messiah...

Jesse: Well, where is it?
Allfather: It's in a safe place. Ohhhh....
Jesse: Where is it?
Starr: It's up his ass.
Jesse: That's his "safe place"?

Satan: Hey, beautiful.
Madame L'Angelle: Your hideousness...

Satan: What about you, Marie? When are you coming down to join us in Hell?

Lara: Seriously?
Tulip: My character chews gum. Yours has an ugly nose. So yeah, let's seriously rob this bitch.

Allfather: Jesse Custer. You are certainly a preacher. You're also a fool.

Allfather: Comfortable? I certainly hope not.

Allfather: Behold, Mr. Custer. Religion's secret weapon: science.

Tulip: You know there are easier ways to do this, right?
Lara: I'm sure there are. I just wanted to make you grab that guy's ass.

Jesse: I took science in high school. I don't remember so many flyin' intestines.

Dr Slotnick: Genesis would require that a successful host... Such as you... Be composed of the same specific proportions of goodness and badness. But how does one re-create those proportions? The answer is a DNA cocktail. This represents a genetic combination of two persons... In this case, Serena Williams and Louis XVI. The idea being that when their DNA are mixed, it will replicate the same formula of good and bad that exists in you.

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Jesse: Why the hell not?
Starr: I have socio-political qualms, of course. But also serious objections to violence in the workplace...

Hoover: What'd he say?
Cassidy: He says... "Kill him."
Hoover: Must be some sort of autocorrect thingy. Uh, t-text him again.
Cassidy: ...... It wasn't autocorrect.

Security Guard: Who are you?
Jody: Human Resources. Time to check your browser history...

Cassidy: Will you forsake the sunlit world and surrender to our dark and scarlet urging?
Hoover: Like... no sun at all? No sunset strolls? No beaches?
Cassidy: Well. Umbrellas, but that's all the time, everywhere you go. I mean, you'll be having bloody dreams about umbrellas. You can trust me on that.

Hoover: I don't want to die. My mom'd be upset.

Eccarius: Were you, um, trying to fly?

Dr Slotnick: This is it. Founding Father Thomas Jefferson, combined with television icon Wayne Brady. I call it... "The Tom/Brady"!

Starr: I can't believe it. Allfather's about to weaponize idiocy.
Jesse: What did you expect was gonna happen?
Starr: A woman scientist? I didn't believe it was possible.

Allfather: Good. Now... bring in the Messiah.

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