Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis

The Good Place 1×5

Chidi: So, to sum up: Utilitarianism posits that the correct choice is the one that causes the most good or pleasure, and the least pain and suffering.
Eleanor: I like this one. It's simple. Ugh, screw all the other complicated theories, why didn't you start with this one?
Chidi: Ah, but here's the problem. If all that matters is the sum total of "goodness," then you can justify any number of bad actions, like torturing one innocent person to save a hundred, or preemptive war...

Eleanor: So, you want to roll right into another lesson? I am revved up to learn, man. My brain is horny!

Eleanor: So now I'm just some huge burden for you?
Chidi: Yes! Of course you are! I am in paradise! I should be doing paradise things, like rowing out on a lake with a good bottle of wine, reading French poetry...
Eleanor: That's your idea of paradise?

Chidi: No, I am not going to have sex with someone to get them to stop talking to me!
Eleanor: Really? You and I are very different.

Eleanor: The real problem is, that the more you help me, the greater the chance is that I can stay here, and me staying here means you'll never get a real soul mate. I'm basically a Utilitarian nightmare. Every ounce of my happiness leads to a ton of pain for you.

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