The Good Place 1×1

Pilot

Eleanor: Oh, one question. Where am I? Who are you? And what's going on?

Eleanor: There's a lot of frozen yogurt places.
Yeah. That's the one thing we put in all the neighborhoods. People love frozen yogurt. I don't know what to tell you.

Michael: How do we know that you were good? How are we sure?... During your time on Earth, every one of your actions had a positive or a negative value, depending on how much good or bad that action put into the universe. Every sandwich you ate, every time you bought a magazine, every single thing you did had an effect that rippled out over time and ultimately created some amount of good or bad.

Michael: You know how some people pull into the breakdown lane when there's traffic? And they think to themselves, "Ah, who cares? No one's watching." We were watching. Surprise!

Michael: You know the way you feel when you see a picture of two otters holding hands? That's how you're gonna feel every day.

Michael: As you can see, the interior has been decorated just as you like it, in the Icelandic primitive style...

Eleanor: Somebody royally forked up. Somebody forked up. Why can't I say "fork"?
Chidi: If you're trying to curse, you can't here. I guess a lot of people in this neighborhood don't like it, so it's prohibited.
Eleanor: That's bullshirt.

Eleanor: I wasn't freaking Gandhi, but I was okay. I was a medium person. I should get to spend eternity in a medium place! Like Cincinnati. Everyone who wasn't perfect but wasn't terrible should get to spend eternity in Cincinnati.

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