Benched

Modern Family 1×20

& Mitchell: I am— whew! — Not cut out to be a stay-at-home dad. No. But I-it’s Cameron’s turn. It’s Cameron’s turn to be out in the world. Interacting with other grown-ups while I get to stay at home... and plot the death of Dora the Explorer. I’d like to fill her backpack with bricks and throw her into Candy-Cane river!

& Phil: Father-in-laws are tough. Because you can’t let them push you around. And you also have to show them respect. It’s like walking a tightrope. Which, by the way, I can do because I went to trapeze school.

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& Cameron: You have a car turntable and you’re wearing rubber. You’re like Batman.

& Claire: I miss babies. They never tell you to go away.

& Claire: I don’t know about you, but I’m not gonna stand here and feel sorry for myself. You know what we should do?
    Gloria: Get pregnant!
    Claire: I was gonna say go for ice cream.
    Gloria: Okay, we’ll do yours first.

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