War Stories

Firefly × 10

& Book: Did you ever read the works of Shan Yu?
    Simon: Shan Yu the psychotic dictator?
    Book: Yep. Fancied himself quite the warrior poet. Wrote volumes on war, torture... the limits of human endurance... He said, “Live with a man 40 years. Share his house, his meals. Speak on every subject. Then tie him up and hold him over the volcano’s edge. And on that day, you will finally meet the man.”
    Simon: Sadistic crap legitimized by florid prose. Tell me you’re not a fan.

& Book: I’m just wondering if they were... the people who did this to your sister.
    Simon: The government did this to her.
    Book: A government is a body of people usually notably ungoverned.

& Book: Yes, I’d forgotten. You’re moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. Got your next heist planned?
    Simon: No. But I’m thinking about growing a big, black moustache. I’m a traditionalist.

& Niska: Tell me... Are you familiar with the works of Shan Yu?

& Malcolm: One of you is gonna fall and die, and I’m not cleaning it up.

& Wash: Could have made more...
    Malcolm: That wasn’t a bad idea, Wash... but eliminating the middleman... never as simple as it sounds. About 50% of the human race is middlemen... and they don’t take kindly to being eliminated.

& Zoë: I thought your plan was too risky. I thought!
    Wash: Then tell me! I am a large, semi-muscular man. I can take it.

& Wash: What this marriage needs is one less husband. Right now it’s kind of crowded.

& Jayne: I’ll be in my bunk.

& Malcolm: You okay?
    Wash: I think I’ve been kidnapped.

---

& Wash: If you think you know what’s happening, then you tell me. You wouldn’t spare Zoe if she were in this situation with you, would you? You would be planning and plotting and possibly scheming. So whatever Zoe would do in this instance is what I wanna do. And you know why? Because no matter how ugly it gets... you two always come back with the stories. So I’m Zoe. Now what do I do?

& Wash: Mal, she’s my wife. What gives you the right to put her in a dangerous situation like this?! {...} I mean, I’m the one that she swore to love, honour and obey.
    Malcolm: Listen, if... She swore to obey?!
    Wash: Well, no... Not... But that’s just my point! You, she obeys! She obeys you. There’s obeying going on right under my nose.

& Malcolm: There’s plenty of orders of mine that she didn’t obey!
    Wash: Name one!
    Malcolm: She married you!

& Kaylee: W... What is that?
    Simon: It’s his ear.
    Zoë: We’re getting him back.
    Jayne: What are we gonna do, clone him?

& Simon: Well, it’s a clean cut. With the right equipment, I should be able to reattach it. That’s assuming there’s a head...

& Zoë: Here. Six shots and then just drop it. Keep moving.

& Jayne: You really think you can mount a two-man frontal assault on Niska’s Skyplex and live?
    Wash: Technically, it’s a one-man, one-woman assault, a unisex.

& Kaylee: What are they doing?
    Jayne: Fixin’ to get themselves killed.
    Zoë: We’re gonna go get the captain.
    Kaylee: Good... Can they do that?
    Jayne: No.
    Wash: You know, there’s a certain motto... a creed among folks like us. You may have heard it... “Leave no man behind.”
    Jayne: Suicide.

& Zoë: Let’s go get the captain.

& Niska: You died, Mr. Reynolds.
    Malcolm: Seemed like the thing to do.
    Niska: When you die, I can’t hurt you anymore. And I want two days at least, minimum.

& Jayne: I’m smellin’ a lot of “if” coming off this plan.
    Zoë: You could’ve stayed in your bunk.
    Jayne: Coulda, shoulda, woulda.

& Malcolm: Haven’t you killed me enough for one day?

& Malcolm: I know it’s a difficult mission, but you and I... have to get it on.
    Zoë: I understand. We have no choice... Take me, sir. Take me hard.
    Jayne: Now something about that is just downright unsettling.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb