Unplugged

Modern Family 2×5

& Mitchell: We have got to get her into school, or else she’s gonna fall behind!
    Cameron: Don’t you think I know that?
    Mitchell: This is perfect. Leave it to the gays to raise the only underachieving Asian in America.

& Claire: We have called this family meeting... because the personal electronics... have gotten out of control. Starting today, there’s going to be a one-week ban on all cell phones... Texting, I.M.’ing... video chatting, video gaming, anything on the Internet.
    Alex: How am I supposed to do my homework?
    Claire: The way I did.
    Phil: With a chisel and a piece of stone.
    Claire: Phil.
    Phil: Can’t unplug my funny bone.

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& Phil: I am completely on board your mother’s horse and buggy to yesteryear. For the next week, I may as well be Amish... Jebediah Dunphy. Raisin’ barns, witnessin’ murders, makin’ electric fireplace hearths.

& Nikki: Sugars, you can get into any school you want.
    Mitchell: I’m sorry. Really?
    Nikki: Oh, you didn’t know that? Oh, yeah. All of these schools like to brag about their diversity. You’re diverse times three... in demand. You’re like Jimmy Buffett tickets... to these hybrid-driving, straight white folks.

& Cameron: Disabled interracial lesbians with an African kicker?! Did not see that coming.

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+ quotes on the IMDb